STAR Correlations and Fluctuations PWG

[Hanna Zbroszczyk <hanna.zbroszczyk AT pw.edu.pl>]

Dear Vinh,

Thank you for implementing my comments, I sign off.

Kind regards,

Hanna

Prof. Hanna Zbroszczyk, PhD, DSc, Eng.

E-mail: hanna.zbroszczyk AT pw.edu.pl
Tel: +48 22 234 5851 (office)

Address:
Warsaw University of Technology
Faculty of Physics
Nuclear Physics Division
Koszykowa 75
Office: 117b (via 115)
00-662 Warsaw, Poland

Wiadomość napisana przez Vinh Luong <lbavinh AT gmail.com> w dniu 22.11.2024, o godz. 09:10:

Dear Hanna,

Thank you very much for your detailed comments and suggestions.
I have modified the slides accordingly and uploaded to the same link.

Thank you and best regards,
Vinh

On Wed, Nov 20, 2024 at 3:52 PM Hanna Zbroszczyk
<star-cf-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:

Dear Vinh,

Find below my general comments to your slides:

Outline will help to navigate through your talk, without outline nobody knows what to expect next and what is the story of your presentation.

S2: Generał motivation is missing, just menton that „Femtoscopy is a powerful technique to study charateristics of systems of femtometer scale at kinetic freeze-out” doesn’t explain what you really want to explore.
More detailed information is needed (description of the source, parametrization of FSI, etc..)

charateristics -> characteristics

S7: \epsilon_F is undefined

S8: The motivation of studies the tilt angle is missing

S11: It will help if you mention why you consider kaon femtoscopy, whan can be learnt from kaons additionally to pions?

S13: You need more discussion about quantities measured with nonidentical particle correlations, definitions of C+, C-, C11 are missing, citation of the paper should be more visible

S6: make reference to the STAR paper more visible

S14: add a reference to source imaging methodology, citation of the paper is missing, make reference to the STAR paper more visible

S15: LL parametrizatodn of FSI should me discussed here and explanation how we conclude about a0, f0, and a0 as a tetraquark

S16: LL paremetrikation is missing, make paper citation more visible

S17: add references to arXiv STAR paper and to the coalescence model used in the analysis with deuterons

S18: adding spin composition will help for d-\Lambda

S23: mąkę references better visible

S25: Summary (and my general comment to your talk):
Showing 9 (2+7) different bullets will not help to memorize the content of your talk.
Try to write 3-4 messages you want people to get with them and try to build your talk according to theses topics.
I suggest to reorganize your slides according to the story you wanna say.

I hope it helps,

Thanks,
Hanna

prof. dr hab. inż. Hanna Zbroszczyk
E-mail: hanna.zbroszczyk AT pw.edu.pl
Tel: +48 22 234 5851 (biuro)

Adres:
Poltechnika Warszawska
Wydział Fizyki
Zakład Fizyki Jądrowej
ul. Koszykowa 75
Biuro: 117b (via 115)
00-662 Warszawa



Wiadomość napisana przez webmaster AT star.bnl.gov w dniu 14.11.2024, o godz. 18:20:

Dear star-cf-l AT lists.bnl.gov members,

Vinh Luong (lbavinh AT gmail.com) has submitted a material for a review, please
have a look:
https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/69910

Deadline: 2024-11-25
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If you have any problems with the review process, please contact
webmaster AT www.star.bnl.gov