STAR HardProbes PWG

[Nihar Sahoo <nihar AT rcf.rhic.bnl.gov>]

Hello Tong,

Please find below my 1st round of comments on your nice proceedings.


Line#8: To address these open questions we -> "To address these open 
questions, we…"
Line#12-16: Can you combine these three sentences into one and avoid 
repeating "we"?
Line#19-23: "Lastly, we present…at RHIC" -> "In addition, we present the 
measurement of particle production and long-range di-hadron correlations 
in photonuclear processes in gamma+Au events using ultra-peripheral 
Au+Au collisions at RHIC." Something like this. To make it concise in 
the abstract.

Line#25: "Since the discovery of the quark-gluon plasma(QGP)"  Give a 
reference here.
 "dependencies" on what? like system size, Temperature, muB. Need to 
mention what are those?
Line#29: "RHIC doesn’t only provide us with a large and flexible range 
of energies.."-> "RHIC provides a wide range of collision energies and 
variety of system size covering…"

Line#31: "Further, ensembles with…" -> "Furthermore, the collision 
system with …" end with a period.
Line#34: "jet quenching and flow " are not medium properties.  Like  
"flow" and "collectivity" are the same properties of QGP.
  Please rephrase this sentence,
LIne#37:-38 "For the first two sections, we focus on …spectrum" Not 
needed and you can drop it. As you going through Section-2 and -3 
individually in next sentences.
Line#38: "...the high-pT spectrum and show the nuclear modification 
(RAA)… hard partons in the medium. " ->"… the high-pT charged hadrons 
spectra and compare their nuclear modification factor (RAA) in different 
collision systems".
LIne#40: "Then in section 3…" -> "In Section 3,…"
Line#42: "Finally in 
section 4,…" ->" Finally, in section-4,.."

Section-2 title:
I would not say " hard partons" because we probe hard partons using jet 
measurement, here we measure "inclusive charged hadrons".
Line#47: "…event and …" -> "…event, and …" 
Line#51: "…high-pT partons 
…" -> "…high-pT charged hadrons …" (for reason see above)
Line#54: "…we 
are able to perform…" -> ", we perform…"
Line#55: "&" -> and
Line#63 ":..note that the Zr+Zr RAA is 
systematically slightly larger due to smaller Npart,"-> I can see both 
Ru and Zr RAA are consistent within uncertainty. Hence this statement is 
not correct. Please remove this.
Line#69: "However, our data in peripheral collisions show that RAA 
starts  to decrease again beyond 60%,
" -> However, the values of RAA in Isobar collisions with Npart< 20 
starts to decrease up to 80%,…" 
LIne#71: "Currently our suspicion is 
…event selection and geometry biases.." -> I would not mention as a 
suspicion. How about. "The event selection and geometrical biases may 
contribute to this deviation at peripheral events in Isobar collisions 
like demonstrated by the HG-PYTHIA method in …"
Can you please inform 
about this HG-PYTHIA?
LIne#85: …more direct properties …" Can you please mention what are 
those "direct properties" of the medium? 
Line#94-96: This statement 
needs a citation.
Line#101-102: "We hope to study the ratio…" -> "We plan to study the 
ratio…"
"…extract more kinetic and thermal …" ->"…extract the kinetic and 
thermal…"
Line#110: "…pushing our limits to the low end"  Not clear; what is that 
low end ? You need to mention.
Comment: In this section-4, it would be 
better if you could introduced what is gamma+A event is.
LIne#119: "For this we form pairs by selecting charged …" -> "For this, 
we…'
In Eq.1, you need to mention what is "n"? Like different order of 
harmonics   
Line#130: "within the measurement uncertainties" -> "within 
the uncertainties." ( all uncertainties in experiments are measured 
uncertainties)
Line#131: "High activity events will be explored in future. " Not 
required.
Line#133: "…	Run-25 data on √sNN = 200 GeV Au+Au collisions,"  -> 
"…Run-25 data in Au+Au collisions at √sNN = 200 GeV,"
Line#137:"…	the 
QGP in small and medium systems, " -> "…the QGP in different collision 
systems,"
Line#138: "…       are shown " -> "are discussed."
Line#140: "…	driven by Npart,  regardless of initial geometry;…" -> 
"…driven by Npart regardless of initial geometry." (Finish this sentence 
here)
Line#140-142: "..although in peripheral …	.“suppression”  is observed ." 
-> Start a new sentence here. "The observed suppression in peripheral 
events in isobar collisions may be due to the event selection and 
geometry bias in the measurement."
Line#150: "…found, photonuclear processes with high multiplicity .." -> 
"found in the photonuclear processes with high multiplicity …"
Line#151: "…help us understand …" -> "…help us to understand…" 




Regards,
Nihar




On 2022-06-01 00:07, webmaster--- via Star-hp-l wrote:
> Dear Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov members,
>
> Tong Liu (tong.liu AT yale.edu) has submitted a material for a review, 
> please
> have a look:
> https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/59798
>
> ---
> If you have any problems with the review process, please contact
> webmaster AT www.star.bnl.gov
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