STAR HardProbes PWG

[Veronica Verkest <vverkest AT gmail.com>]

Hi Barbara,

I appreciate your review and comments. I did not think it appropriate to change p+Au to p(d)+Au in the abstract since I specifically reference STAR there, but this change helps in line 20. The updated draft and it is now on Drupal.

Thanks,

Veronica

On Mon, Nov 21, 2022 at 4:18 AM Barbara Trzeciak via Star-hp-l <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:

Hi Veronica,

I have minor comments and sign off your proceedings.

- Abstract and L20: PHENIX results are from d+Au collections, please change p+Au to e.g. p(d)+Au

- Abstract: "therefore indicate that the correlation results from ..." - there's something missing here.

- Abstract:  In this talk, -> In these proceedings, 

- EA_BBC - you don't define this variable. I guess it's the same as EA mentioned earlier in the text, per your definition in L42. 

I would suggest using EA everywhere in these proceedings and remove "This trend remains consistent when classified by EA_TPC ... ", as you don't present this result. 

Cheers,

Barbara

On Mon, Nov 21, 2022 at 7:34 AM Nihar Sahoo via Star-hp-l <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:

Hi Veronica,

I can see that not all comments have been addressed, because we don't
have time.
I sign off.


Cheers
Nihar

On 2022-11-21 11:03, Yi Yang wrote:
> Hi Veronica,
>
> Thanks a lot for the updated version. It looks good to me. Since time
> is limited, let me push this to the STAR Talk. Others can comment on
> it there.
>
> Cheers,
> Yi
>
> On Mon, Nov 21, 2022 at 7:10 AM Veronica Verkest <vverkest AT gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
>> Hi all,
>>
>> Thank you for the comments. I have updated the draft here
>> (https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/61702) and implemented as
>> many changes as I could without extending past the page limit. Yi--I
>> use the STAR detector overview for my specifics on all the BEMC,
>> BBC, and TPC, and this is reference [6]. I moved the citation to be
>> more obvious, but please let me know if this needs to be changed so
>> that the reference is proper.
>>
>> Thanks,
>> Veronica
>>
>> On Sun, Nov 20, 2022 at 12:18 PM Nihar Sahoo
>> <nihar AT rcf.rhic.bnl.gov> wrote:
>>
>>> Hello Veronica,
>>>
>>> Please find my comments below on your nice proceedings.
>>>
>>> L10: "…partons in a collision. " -> (not clear what is " a
>>> collision.")
>>> "…partons in collider experiments." Or "…partons in a
>>> hadron-hadron or
>>> heavy-ion collision."
>>> L10-11: "Due to the small time and length scales of these
>>> collisions,
>>> jets are useful as a probe to study these collisions." -> Not
>>> clear,
>>> Please rephrase. For example, what is "small time", "length
>>> scale"? and
>>> "these collisions"
>>> L18: "Jets from proton-proton (𝑝+𝑝) collisions …" ->"Jets
>>> produced in
>>> proton-proton (𝑝+𝑝) collisions …"
>>> L19: "…a baseline of comparison for jets in heavy-ion
>>> collisions…" ->
>>> "…a baseline in heavy-ion collisions…" ; "…, such as p+A."
>>> -> "…, such
>>> as p+A collisions."
>>> L20: "…jet quenching is commonly used …" -> "…jet is
>>> commonly used…"
>>> (Here jet quenching is a phenomenon, and jet is a probe)
>>> L21: "…in central collisions …" -> "…in central heavy-ion
>>> collisions…"
>>> L22: "are interpreted…" -> "is interpreted…"; "with a QGP" ->
>>> with QGP;
>>> "and are…" -> "and is…"
>>> L25:"…too small for the formation of a QGP" -> "Small" of what?
>>> Not
>>> clear why QGP is not expected to form in p+A. Please rephrase in
>>> terms
>>> of initial energy density, etc.
>>> L26: "…𝑝T < 2 GeV/𝑐" -> "…transever momentum pT < 2
>>> GeV/c"
>>> L27:"Because centrality is not as easily defined…" -> "As the
>>> centrality
>>> is not well-defined…"
>>> L28-30: Can you please rephrase this sentence.
>>>
>>> L33: "… taken during RHIC Run 15." -> "… taken in 2015."
>>> L35:"The BEMC is composed of towers with 0.2 ≤ 𝐸T ≤ 30.0
>>> GeV" -> Not
>>> clear. we use BEMC towers with this et range, but there are towers
>>>
>>> greater than 30 GeV, Is not that? Please rephrase.
>>> L36." …charged tracks…" -> "…the charged tracks…"
>>> L44: "This study uses R=0.4…" -> "This study uses the jet
>>> resolution
>>> parameter R=0.4…"
>>> L45: Need to introduce "eta_lead" and "p_{T, lead}^{reco}"
>>>
>>> Fig.1 Caption: "Charged underlying event multiplicity…" ->" The
>>> underlying event charged multiplicity…in the hight-EA…";
>>> "..on pT,lead^reco" -> "on the pT,lead^{reco}"
>>>
>>> L47: Need to mention "phi_lead" , "phi_trig"
>>> L48: "…in a ∼ 64◦ region …" - >" in azimuth ∼ 64◦
>>> region …"
>>>
>>> L50: "The charged UE particle multiplicity …" -> "The UE charged
>>>
>>> particle multiplicity …"
>>> L51: Fig. 1 -> remove gap (same for other places)
>>> L52: UE -> the UE
>>> L55: need to introduce EA_BBC (and also EA_TPC below)
>>> L61: "the jet substructure observable mass …" -> "      the jet
>>> mass
>>> observable
>>> L65: "This study in p+Au collisions at 𝑠NN = 200 GeV…"
>>> L68: "… and the hard scattering of the jet early in the
>>> collision. " ->
>>> Not clear, please rephrase/
>>>
>>> Cheers
>>> Nihar
>>>
>>> On 2022-11-19 04:07, Veronica Verkest via Star-hp-l wrote:
>>>> Hi all,
>>>>
>>>> I have made some changes to my ICHEP proceedings and uploaded
>>> them to
>>>> Drupal (https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/61702). Since the
>>>> deadline is Monday, I would appreciate any comments/feedback.
>>>>
>>>> Thanks,
>>>> Veronica
>>>>
>>>> On Thu, Nov 17, 2022 at 5:06 PM webmaster--- via Star-hp-l
>>>> <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Dear Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov members,
>>>>>
>>>>> Veronica Verkest (vverkest AT gmail.com) has submitted a material
>>> for a
>>>>> review,
>>>>> please have a look:
>>>>> https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/61702
>>>>>
>>>>> Deadline: 2022-11-21
>>>>> ---
>>>>> If you have any problems with the review process, please
>>> contact
>>>>> webmaster AT www.star.bnl.gov
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>> Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov
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