STAR HardProbes PWG

[Nihar Sahoo <nihar AT rcf.rhic.bnl.gov>]

Hello Veronica,

Please find my comments on your nice proceedings below.
General:
As it is for "the STAR collaboration"; I would suggest to use "We" 
instead of "I" at all places.

Title: "Heavy flavor and high pT results from STAR " ->  "Recent heavy 
flavor and high pT results at STAR"

Abstract:
"I show yields of heavy flavor particles from Au+Au and p+Au collision 
systems and their correlations with jets and bulk particle 
production…system sizes and centralities."
->
I would suggest 1-2 sentences and concise abstract. Details you can put 
inside the proceedings.

 "In these proceedings, We present an overview of recent measurements 
from heavy flavor and jet production in Au+Au and $p$+Au collisions at 
$\sqrt{s_{\rm NN}} = 200 GeV. We also discuss the recent development on 
jet substructure measurements in $p+p$ collisions at STAR."


1. Introduction

L8: "Hard probes such as heavy flavor particles and jets …" -> "Hard 
probes, such as heavy flavors and jets, are tools…"
L9: "…matter known as the Quark- Gluon Plasma (QGP)." -> "…matter—known 
as the Quark-Gluon Plasma (QGP)." [use em dash here]
L11: a vacuum environment -> in vacuum ;  by perturbative QCD -> by the 
perturbative QCD
L12: "Upon understanding the formation of these hard probes in a vacuum 
(p+p) and assessing the cold nuclear matter (CNM) effects in slightly 
denser collisions (p+A), …" -> "Upon understanding of the heavy flavors 
and jets production in vacuum (in $p+p$) and cold nuclear matter (CNM) 
in $p$+Au collisions, …
L14 with hot nuclear matter. -> with the QGP.

2. Measurements

L17: "In addition to being described by pQCD, p + p collisions are 
useful as a reference to quantify modification of probes in heavy-ion 
collisions." -> "Jet production in $p+p$ collisions are well studied 
using pQCD calculations and hence used as a reference for heavy-ion 
collisions."
L18: "Jet substructure observables are one such method …" -> Jet 
substructure observables are used to characterize …"
L19:"The SoftDrop package1 is a jet grooming package that provides…" -> 
"The SoftDrop grooming technique in jet measurement provides…"

L22: SoftDrop then re-cluster -> The SoftDrop, then, re-clusters…
L24: "z_g"  and "R_g" -> you have not defined yet.
L25: from  √sNN = 200 … -> at  √s = 200 GeV in $p+p$ collisions at STAR

L27: " split (black) …third splits (red and blue, respectively). " ->" 
..split…third splits."  [not needed in the text as already discussed in 
Caption]
L32-33: "…and, as they evolve in time, they tend toward harder and 
narrower emissions." ->"…and they tend toward harder and narrower 
emissions as time evolves."
L36: " that there are no hot nuclear matter effects …" -> that no QGP 
effect presents in $p$+A collisions …;
      CNM -> the CNM
L38: "All effects of increased collision system density not due to hot 
nuclear matter are considered CNM effects. " -> Not clear. Please 
rephrase. For example "Collision systems density"  what density? Energy 
density, particle density…etc.
L45: 200 GeV p+Au collisions -> 200 GeV in p+Au collisions
L54: "rapidities as a function of the transverse momentum (pT) of a 
triggered leading jet" -> "rapidities for the three the transverse 
momentum (pT) bins of a triggered leading jet"
L63: in STAR p+Au -> in $p$+Au collisions, at STAR,
L64: a charm-anticharm bound state; Fig. 3 shows the nuclear 
modification factor for this measurement
 -> a charm and anti-charm quarks bound state; Figure 3 shows the 
nuclear modification factor, RA(p)A,
of the $J/\psi$ as a …

L66: "The nuclear modification factor, RA(p)A,…" -> The nuclear 
modification factor in different collision systems …
L68" R_pAu -> The R_pAu

L74: "  I investigated …" -> Drop this sentence, not needed for such 
short proceedings.
L75: "I present…" -> Not need; It is not adding any info here.
L79: "…		energy loss depends on system size rather than collision 
geometry." -> "energy loss depends on the energy density rather than the 
initial geometry."

L80: a bottom-antibottom bound state  -> a bottom and anti-bottom quarks 
bound state
L82: a hot  enough medium will cause these bound states to “melt” -> a 
hotter medium melts these excited states resulting the suppression in 
their yields
L85: All states are significant suppression, which is larger in more 
central events.
-> All states show significant suppression in central relative to 
peripheral collisions.
L88: STAR performed an analysis to investigate modification of jet 
substructure … ->  The STAR collaboration reported the modification of 
jet substructure in Au+Au collisions; …

Conclusion:
L99: were presented for STAR p + p -> were presented in $p+p$ 
collisions, at STAR, …
 L100: in the absence of hot medium -> in the absence of the QCD medium. 
[It can be hot or cold like in p+A and A+A]
L100-103: "In p+Au… only at low-pT." -> Too long sentence. Please break 
it.

I would suggest you can add one sentence as outlook for STAR Run23 and 
Run24 data taking plan for hard probes measurements.


 Fig.2 caption: rapidity as a function of leading jet pT -> rapidity for 
the three leading jet pT bins.
Fig.3 caption: for several species  -> in different collision systems
Fig.4 caption: in multiple species -> in different collision systems
Fig.5 caption: jets in central p + p and p + p ⊕ Au+Au collisions. -> 
jets in central Au+Au and p + p ⊕ Au+Au collisions.


Cheers
Nihar









On 2023-05-12 21:54, Veronica Verkest via Star-hp-l wrote:
> Hi all,
>
> In the hustle of recent submissions, I just wanted to send a reminder
> about my Moriond proceedings (here:
> https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/63649). The due date is the
> 15th, which is Monday. I welcome and appreciate any feedback!
>
> Thanks,
> Veronica
>
> On Mon, May 8, 2023 at 7:36 PM webmaster--- via Star-hp-l
> <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:
>
> > Dear Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov members,
> >
> > Veronica Verkest (vverkest AT gmail.com) has submitted a material for a
> > review,
> > please have a look:
> > https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/63649
> >
> > Deadline: 2023-03-25
> > ---
> > If you have any problems with the review process, please contact
> > webmaster AT www.star.bnl.gov
> > _______________________________________________
> > Star-hp-l mailing list
> > Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov
> > https://lists.bnl.gov/mailman/listinfo/star-hp-l
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