STAR HardProbes PWG

["Mooney, Isaac" <isaac.mooney AT yale.edu>]

Hi Yang,

I have some minor comments on your proceedings (please see below). Sorry for the delay.

-Isaac

General comment: figure captions should be more descriptive. Using Fig. 1 as an example -> "with R = 0.2 (left) and 0.5 (right), for 11 < E_T^trig < 15 GeV (upper panels) and ..." It would be even better to also include a description of the colors. Similarly for Fig. 2, 3, and 4, should be at least a description of which panel shows what.

8. "yield" -> "yields" in the last sentence.

10. "A jet"

20. "trigger-particle-normalized"

26. 

"Direct photon" should be defined

"due to their lack of color charge"

28. These two sentences can be combined. Something like: "Firstly, the recoil partons from \gamma_dir triggers is significantly larger than that from \pi_0"."

30. "significantly"

34. "Moreover," here makes it seem like you're continuing the explanation for the quark/gluon fraction differences. I would change it to "Another difference is that high p_T..."

36. "the azimuthal angle" (and on 37); "is also"

37. "can differ from"

38. "higher-order"

42. "phenomena"

44. Upright "part"

46. "$Au$+$Au$" to be consistent with the rest.

47. "these proceedings"; "relatively"

56. "eta_trig", correct? Same comment for 59.

58. "GeV/c"

60. "two jet radii"; "by the anti-k_T"

61. "using the mixed-event..."

62. "picking"

63. "combining"

64. There should be more description of how the mixed event is actually used -- i.e. what you do with the mixed event once you've constructed it.

71. 

They can't (or shouldn't, I guess) be inclusive ranges. So I would change one, or all, square brackets to parentheses instead. Since this is real data we never have a value identical to the bound anyway, so "(" and "[" are equivalent.

"the dark band", "the light band"

73. "the ratio"

74. "the dashed"

76. "the jet shower"

78. "compared to"

86. "is supposed to" -> "will"

91. "indicates"

101. "Acknowledgements"

On Jul 14, 2023, at 10:39 AM, yanghe via Star-hp-l <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:

Hello Yi,

Thank you for all the comments. I've uploaded the new version in here:
https://nam12.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url="https%3A%2F%2Fdrupal.star.bnl.gov%2FSTAR%2Fpresentations%2FHard-Probes-2023%2FMeasurement-semi-inclusive-gammajet-and-hadronjet-distributions-heavy&data=05%7C01%7Cisaac.mooney%40yale.edu%7Ccef531444e1a4896a25408db84784344%7Cdd8cbebb21394df8b4114e3e87abeb5c%7C0%7C0%7C638249424329580623%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000%7C%7C%7C&sdata=nXV52H75PmvaeBXIpFRlIuJiB5QuGrb9oyicFAkovGg%3D&reserved=0

Best,
Yang


在 2023-07-14 11:08，Yi Yang via Star-hp-l 写道：

Hi Yang,
Thanks a lot for the nice proceedings. I only have some minor comments
for your consideration.
- General: p+p --> $p$+$p$, A+A --> $A$+$A$
- L10: Jet --> jet
- L21 - L22: AA and pp --> $A$+$A$ and $p$+$p$  (same for L25 and 26)
- L21 - L24: I would suggest: move Eq.(1) after "as a formula below:"
and add a comma after Eq.1, then change "and can be directly"  to (It
can be directly" after Eq. 1
- L26: is denoted as I_AA:
- Eq. 2: Add a period at the end.
- L38: gamma_dir +jet spectrum --> The gamma-dir+jet spectrum
- L47: recoil jets. --> recoil jets:
- L52: <Npart> --> $\langle N_{part} \rangle$
- L60: add a reference for BSMD.
- L61: merge this sentence to the previous one.
- L63: gamma_dir --> The gamma_dir
- L65: reference for TSP?
- L69: reference for anti-kT algorithm
- L70: Mixed-event --> Mixed-Event
- L74: In final --> Finally
          Merge this sentence to the previous one.
- L79: transverse energy (ET) --> ET  (you already defined it in L63)
- L81: remove the extra comma
- L89: Pythia8 MONASH --> PYTHIA-8 Monah (to be consistent with the
plot)
- L90: Pythia--> PYTHIA
- Figure 2 caption:
       Ratio --> Ratios
       missed a period at the end.
- L94: Pythia--> PYTHIA
- L98: Pythia--> PYTHIA - Figure 3 caption: Delta_Phi --> The
Delta_Phi
- Figure 4 caption: h+jet --> The h+jet - L112: Remove "And"
- L112: ratio --> ratios
- L114: Delta_Phi distributions --> The Delta_Phi distributions
Cheers,
Yi
On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 11:11 AM webmaster--- via Star-hp-l
<star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:

Dear Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov members,
Yang He (yanghe AT rcf.rhic.bnl.gov) has submitted a material for a
review,
please have a look:
https://nam12.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url="https%3A%2F%2Fdrupal.star.bnl.gov%2FSTAR%2Fnode%2F64228&data=05%7C01%7Cisaac.mooney%40yale.edu%7Ccef531444e1a4896a25408db84784344%7Cdd8cbebb21394df8b4114e3e87abeb5c%7C0%7C0%7C638249424329580623%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000%7C%7C%7C&sdata=5aLDqcQGbNODwawVjTK3UlaLuWRo90bcq3HDTfgHpIs%3D&reserved=0
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