STAR HardProbes PWG

[Tristan Protzman <tlp220 AT lehigh.edu>]

Hi Nihar,

Thank you for the comments.  Please see my responses below, a new draft has 
been uploaded.

Cheers,
Tristan 



> Abstract:
> You may consider to shorten your abstract if possible.
This was the abstract which was used for the conference, I wasn't sure if you 
are able to change that.  

> 
> L9: "…the transport of momentum through " -> Not clear, rephrase
Changed to "...the kinematics of partons through..."

> L10: "it is useful to identify a controllable … -> it doesn't sound good. 
> Please rephrase
controllable -> well understood

> L14: "processes as it traverses the QGP, …"->          …traversing through 
> the QGP, …;
Changed.

> insight into… -> insight of the QGP dynamics.
Changed. 

> 
> L16:  The jet energy loss can be described … -> The jet energy loss are 
> measured …
How about "The jet energy loss and subsequent yield suppression are 
measured..."?

> 
> L18-20: What is reason to make it "bold statement"? Make it un-bold.
This was a leftover from an editing pass, fixed.

> L19: "These difference …" -> what difference? And this sentence is not 
> clear. Elaborate it.
Changed to "...path-length differences..."

> 
> L21: "In a semi-central heavy-ion collision, in general an approximately 
> elliptical QGP will be produced." -> "The QGP is produced in an elliptical 
> geometry due to overlapping shape in a semi-central heavy-ion collision."
Changed to "In a semi-central heavy-ion collisions, the produced QGP is 
approximately elliptical in geometry  


> 
> L57: excluding the two hardest. ->            excluding the two hardest 
> jets.
Changed.

> 
> L65: 𝑝T > 2 GeV  -> 𝑝T > 2 GeV/{\it c} [ all places]
Changed

> 
> Eq.4, Please mention in the text what is eta_jet, eta_hard core and the 
> same for phi.
Added..


> 
> L82: for tracks with 5 < 𝑝reco < 22.5 GeV/c  -> is that pT^reco for track ?
> jets with 10 < 𝑝reco -> jets with 10 < 𝑝_{\rm T, jet}^{\rm reco } 
You're right, we don't need the record label for tracks


> L87: 10 < 𝑝T < 22.5  -> 10 < 𝑝_T,jet^reco < 22.5
Changed

> 
> L98: "Further complicating …quenching signatures." -> Very complicated 
> sentence, Please rephrase this.
Changed to Further complicating the interpretation of a positive jet v2 
solely as path-length dependent quenching is the presence of jet v2 in small 
p+A systems which lack other quenching signatures.  

> L103: "Ongoing work to further this goal …" -> "The future goal of this 
> work …"
Adjusted to "Ongoing work to this goal..." on Yi's suggestion to avoid 
reusing the word further multiple times close together

> L104: path length, as well as -> path length as well as
Changed.

> ESE -> The ESE
Changed to "Using ESE, events within a given centrality class are further 
divided into eccentricity classes, controlling..."



> On Jul 13, 2023, at 11:37 PM, Nihar Sahoo via Star-hp-l 
> <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:
> 
> Hello Tristan,
> 
> Sorry for being late to read your proceedings.
> Please find my comments on your nice proceedings.
> 
> Abstract:
> You may consider to shorten your abstract if possible.
> 
> L9: "…the transport of momentum through " -> Not clear, rephrase
> L10: "it is useful to identify a controllable … -> it doesn't sound good. 
> Please rephrase
> L14: "processes as it traverses the QGP, …"->          …traversing through 
> the QGP, …;
> insight into… -> insight of the QGP dynamics.
> 
> L16:  The jet energy loss can be described … -> The jet energy loss are 
> measured …
> 
> L18-20: What is reason to make it "bold statement"? Make it un-bold.
> L19: "These difference …" -> what difference? And this sentence is not 
> clear. Elaborate it.
> 
> L21: "In a semi-central heavy-ion collision, in general an approximately 
> elliptical QGP will be produced." -> "The QGP is produced in an elliptical 
> geometry due to overlapping shape in a semi-central heavy-ion collision."
> 
> L57: excluding the two hardest. ->            excluding the two hardest 
> jets.
> 
> L65: 𝑝T > 2 GeV  -> 𝑝T > 2 GeV/{\it c} [ all places]
> 
> Eq.4, Please mention in the text what is eta_jet, eta_hard core and the 
> same for phi.
> 
> L82: for tracks with 5 < 𝑝reco < 22.5 GeV/c  -> is that pT^reco for track ?
> jets with 10 < 𝑝reco -> jets with 10 < 𝑝_{\rm T, jet}^{\rm reco } …
> 
> L87: 10 < 𝑝T < 22.5  -> 10 < 𝑝_T,jet^reco < 22.5
> 
> L98: "Further complicating …quenching signatures." -> Very complicated 
> sentence, Please rephrase this.
> L103: "Ongoing work to further this goal …" -> "The future goal of this 
> work …"
> L104: path length, as well as -> path length as well as
> ESE -> The ESE
> 
> 
> Cheers
> Nihar
> 
> 
> On 2023-07-03 20:29, webmaster--- via Star-hp-l wrote:
>> Dear Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov members,
>> Tristan Protzman (tlp220 AT lehigh.edu) has submitted a material for a review,
>> please have a look:
>> https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.google.com/url?q=https:**Adrupal.star.bnl.gov*STAR*node*64245&source=gmail-imap&ust=1689910698000000&usg=AOvVaw23pDMtkB7tfz7abVgAinE4__;Ly8vLy8!!P4SdNyxKAPE!BYp2YOHEVOwCs3pln025O9zzel--DdkfYeb6sh3ujml1CgUIpAp0fQXFtSq8IGzVEaB6eCzWJvQAmDQHvetn_zWI$
>>  
>> ---
>> If you have any problems with the review process, please contact
>> webmaster AT www.star.bnl.gov
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