STAR HardProbes PWG

["Mooney, Isaac" <isaac.mooney AT yale.edu>]

Hi Monika,

That’s fine with me! I sign off.

Thanks,

Isaac

On Jul 16, 2023, at 9:38 AM, Robotkova, Monika <robotmon AT fjfi.cvut.cz> wrote:

Hi Isaac,

Thank you very much for your comments, I've implemented them and uploaded v4 on Drupal page.

26. Should this be k_T,g?

 I'm not sure, since some definitions use k_T,g and some k_T. I would keep k_T for the proceedings since the figures are with k_T and also the slides and we can discuss it for the paper.

Best regards,

Monika

---

Od: Mooney, Isaac <isaac.mooney AT yale.edu>
Odesláno: sobota 15. července 2023 9:48
Komu: Robotkova, Monika <robotmon AT fjfi.cvut.cz>; STAR HardProbes PWG <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov>
Kopie: Nihar Sahoo <nihar AT rcf.rhic.bnl.gov>
Předmět: Re: [Star-hp-l] STAR presentation by Monika Robotkova for Hard Probes 2023 submitted for review

 

Hi Monika,

Sorry for the delay. The proceedings look good. I just have some, mostly just grammar, comments (below).

Thanks,

Isaac

General grammar comment:

The definite article is missing in some places. Check lines 16, 17, 22, 24, 25, 29, 36, 37 (x2), 39, 44, 45, 46, 47, 54, 65, 77, 80, 82

11. 

"Correlations across more jet substructure observables, in an unbinned way"

"ensemble-level"

Remove ", sensitive to the hadronization process"

"splits along the" -> "hard splits in the SoftDrop splitting history"

Remove "such as"

16. "the SoftDrop"

17. 

"the anti-kT"; "the Cambridge/Aachen" (and "the C/A")

It would be good to mention again (as in the abstract) that Cambridge/Aachen is angular-ordered since it has implications for the declustering.

24. "two observables: the shared momentum..."

26. Should this be k_T,g?

28. 

"we use a technique called CollinearDrop". Or if you want to keep it in passive voice, "a technique called CollinearDrop is used."

This paragraph makes it seem that the general CollinearDrop procedure does not use a non-zero zcut or beta value. I would make it clear that this choice is specific to the STAR analysis.

I think it also doesn't come across from the description here that the CollinearDrop technique is dropping hard/collinear radiation. Maybe: "After this subtraction, what remains is soft radiation that would have been removed by SoftDrop." or similar.

32. "to study" -> "study of" (also line 40)

34. "to understand the jet evolution, due to the connection between the jet mass and parton virtuality." or similar.

35. "observable"

Eq. 3. The "(groomed)" is in parentheses but the "g" elsewhere isn't. Should be consistent, either way, but I would suggest parentheses around the "g"s since the mass hasn't been defined so far either.

42. Remove commas. 

45. Remove "the"

48. Change "/" to " and "

49. "We use a"

50. You don't need to specify here which axis each is on since you're not showing the actual response matrix. Can just say "with axes given by particle-level and detector-level p_T,jet"

51. "projections"

54. "allows one"; "in an"

56. The "= 2" is outside the exponent; the "i" in q_i after the equation shouldn't be roman.

58. "STAR tune" [+ cite Kevin Adkins' thesis]

60. "measured data from the same run period as the data being corrected."

61. Commas -> parentheses or "--"

62. The left single quote is backwards. Try "`". 

69, 77, 81. "bins" -> "selections"

70. "little or no"

Fig. 1. I would mention here again that the right figure consists of projections of the left figure. 

78. "the shift of \mu to smaller values"

84, 90. "to study a broad kinematic region of the"

84. It would be nice here to have the justification that t ~ 1/angle to make sense of the observation.

87. "first hard split"

91. "allow us"

On Jul 14, 2023, at 6:04 PM, Robotkova, Monika via Star-hp-l <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:

Hello Nihar,

Thank you very much for your comments, I've implemented them and uploaded v3 on Drupal page.

Best regards,

Monika

---

 

Od: Star-hp-l <star-hp-l-bounces AT lists.bnl.gov> za uživatele Nihar Sahoo via Star-hp-l <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov>
Odesláno: pátek 14. července 2023 5:15
Komu: webmaster AT star.bnl.gov<webmaster AT star.bnl.gov>; STAR HardProbes PWG <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov>
Předmět: Re: [Star-hp-l] STAR presentation by Monika Robotkova for Hard Probes 2023 submitted for review

 

Hello Monika,

Sorry for being late.
Please find my comments on your nice proceedings.

Abstract:
In particular, we explore… -> In these proceedings, we explore…

L15: non-perturbative (hadronization) processes. -> non-perturbative QCD 
(hadronization) processes.  [here QCD is important]

L24:    shared momentum fraction (𝑧g) and groomed radius 𝑅g  -> shared 
momentum fraction  and groomed radius  [as you already mentioned z_g and 
R_g]

L26: study the different parts of Lund Plane [4]. ->study the kinematic 
region of Lund Plane [4].  [Same for L84 and L90]
L28: To study the soft component of the jet usually removed by SoftDrop 
technique, CollinearDrop [5] is used. -> This stentence doesn't sound 
correct. Especially "CollinearDrop is used." for what?

L33:     …angular observables it  ->      …angular observables, it i
study mass observables -> study the jet mass observables

L34: Mass observables -> The jet mass observables

Eq.3 If you make "p_g" bold letter, then no need to use arrow on it. 
Remove arrow on p_g.

L38:    of the subjet and 𝑀g is mass of the groomed jet.  -> of the subjet.

L39: First observable Δ𝑀/𝑀 can provide the information about amount of 
mass groomed away -> First observable Δ𝑀/𝑀 provides the information 
about the amount of mass groomed away

L42: 42 Analysed data were collected in 𝑝+𝑝 -> The p+p data were 
collected, in 2012, at sqrt(s) = 200 GeV by …
L43: Since data are affected by the finite instrumental resolution,
->       Since the data are affected by the detector effects, … [here "finite 
instrumental resolution" doesn't make sense]
L45:             For this purpose we use  two -> For this purpose, we use  the two
… is (2+1)D unfolding -> What is "(2+1) D unfolding"? Do you mean 2D or 
3D? Mention "by RooUnfold [ ]" in this sentence.
L50:             on the y-axis and perform  ->            on the y-axis, and perform
L82:             Since 0 value  -> Since the zero value

Cheers
Nihar









On 2023-07-08 12:18, webmaster--- via Star-hp-l wrote:
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> 
> Monika Robotkova (robotmon AT fjfi.cvut.cz) has submitted a material for a
> review, please have a look:
> https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/64281
> 
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