STAR HardProbes PWG

["Mooney, Isaac" <isaac.mooney AT yale.edu>]

Hi Yang,

Thanks for addressing my comments. I sign off.

Best,

Isaac

On Jul 15, 2023, at 10:38 AM, yanghe <yanghe AT rcf.rhic.bnl.gov> wrote:

Hi Isaac,

Thank you for all the comments. Please find the new version here:
https://nam12.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url="https%3A%2F%2Fdrupal.star.bnl.gov%2FSTAR%2Fsystem%2Ffiles%2FHP2023_yh.pdf&data=05%7C01%7Cisaac.mooney%40yale.edu%7C73152cbfde854b5f926a08db8541265e%7Cdd8cbebb21394df8b4114e3e87abeb5c%7C0%7C0%7C638250287264785073%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000%7C%7C%7C&sdata=Embqfvf9p0ONy0%2FGLSbaBfgKJ%2FGsiWcJ7vQaVZwsiFg%3D&reserved=0

Best,
Yang



在 2023-07-15 07:20，Mooney, Isaac 写道：

Hi Yang,
I have some minor comments on your proceedings (please see below).
Sorry for the delay.
-Isaac
General comment: figure captions should be more descriptive. Using
Fig. 1 as an example -> "with R = 0.2 (left) and 0.5 (right), for 11 <
E_T^trig < 15 GeV (upper panels) and ..." It would be even better to
also include a description of the colors. Similarly for Fig. 2, 3, and
4, should be at least a description of which panel shows what.
8. "yield" -> "yields" in the last sentence.
10. "A jet"
20. "trigger-particle-normalized"
26.
"Direct photon" should be defined
"due to their lack of color charge"
28. These two sentences can be combined. Something like: "Firstly, the
recoil partons from \gamma_dir triggers is significantly larger than
that from \pi_0"."
30. "significantly"
34. "Moreover," here makes it seem like you're continuing the
explanation for the quark/gluon fraction differences. I would change
it to "Another difference is that high p_T..."
36. "the azimuthal angle" (and on 37); "is also"
37. "can differ from"
38. "higher-order"
42. "phenomena"
44. Upright "part"
46. "$Au$+$Au$" to be consistent with the rest.
47. "these proceedings"; "relatively"
56. "eta_trig", correct? Same comment for 59.
58. "GeV/c"
60. "two jet radii"; "by the anti-k_T"
61. "using the mixed-event..."
62. "picking"
63. "combining"
64. There should be more description of how the mixed event is
actually used -- i.e. what you do with the mixed event once you've
constructed it.
71.
They can't (or shouldn't, I guess) be inclusive ranges. So I would
change one, or all, square brackets to parentheses instead. Since this
is real data we never have a value identical to the bound anyway, so
"(" and "[" are equivalent.
"the dark band", "the light band"
73. "the ratio"
74. "the dashed"
76. "the jet shower"
78. "compared to"
86. "is supposed to" -> "will"
91. "indicates"
101. "Acknowledgements"

On Jul 14, 2023, at 10:39 AM, yanghe via Star-hp-l
<star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:
Hello Yi,
Thank you for all the comments. I've uploaded the new version in
here:

https://nam12.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url="https%3A%2F%2Fdrupal.star.bnl.gov%2FSTAR%2Fpresentations%2FHard-Probes-2023%2FMeasurement-semi-inclusive-gammajet-and-hadronjet-distributions-heavy&data=05%7C01%7Cisaac.mooney%40yale.edu%7C73152cbfde854b5f926a08db8541265e%7Cdd8cbebb21394df8b4114e3e87abeb5c%7C0%7C0%7C638250287264785073%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000%7C%7C%7C&sdata=BW%2BZyTEfxSDWwcGifaWSNsE3TcoJiZwHE4s3w3quzSM%3D&reserved=0

[1]
Best,
Yang
在 2023-07-14 11:08，Yi Yang via Star-hp-l 写道：
Hi Yang,
Thanks a lot for the nice proceedings. I only have some minor
comments
for your consideration.
- General: p+p --> $p$+$p$, A+A --> $A$+$A$
- L10: Jet --> jet
- L21 - L22: AA and pp --> $A$+$A$ and $p$+$p$ (same for L25 and
26)
- L21 - L24: I would suggest: move Eq.(1) after "as a formula
below:"
and add a comma after Eq.1, then change "and can be directly"  to
(It
can be directly" after Eq. 1
- L26: is denoted as I_AA:
- Eq. 2: Add a period at the end.
- L38: gamma_dir +jet spectrum --> The gamma-dir+jet spectrum
- L47: recoil jets. --> recoil jets:
- L52: <Npart> --> $\langle N_{part} \rangle$
- L60: add a reference for BSMD.
- L61: merge this sentence to the previous one.
- L63: gamma_dir --> The gamma_dir
- L65: reference for TSP?
- L69: reference for anti-kT algorithm
- L70: Mixed-event --> Mixed-Event
- L74: In final --> Finally
Merge this sentence to the previous one.
- L79: transverse energy (ET) --> ET  (you already defined it in
L63)
- L81: remove the extra comma
- L89: Pythia8 MONASH --> PYTHIA-8 Monah (to be consistent with the
plot)
- L90: Pythia--> PYTHIA
- Figure 2 caption:
Ratio --> Ratios
missed a period at the end.
- L94: Pythia--> PYTHIA
- L98: Pythia--> PYTHIA - Figure 3 caption: Delta_Phi --> The
Delta_Phi
- Figure 4 caption: h+jet --> The h+jet - L112: Remove "And"
- L112: ratio --> ratios
- L114: Delta_Phi distributions --> The Delta_Phi distributions
Cheers,
Yi
On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 11:11 AM webmaster--- via Star-hp-l
<star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:
Dear Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov members,
Yang He (yanghe AT rcf.rhic.bnl.gov) has submitted a material for a
review,
please have a look:

https://nam12.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url="https%3A%2F%2Fdrupal.star.bnl.gov%2FSTAR%2Fnode%2F64228&data=05%7C01%7Cisaac.mooney%40yale.edu%7C73152cbfde854b5f926a08db8541265e%7Cdd8cbebb21394df8b4114e3e87abeb5c%7C0%7C0%7C638250287264785073%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000%7C%7C%7C&sdata=jlOX%2FDtuN6tRzko3Lj241fiffwre86RSDlSngyXqHns%3D&reserved=0

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