STAR HardProbes PWG

[Barbara Trzeciak <barbara.trzeciak AT gmail.com>]

Hi Leszek,

please find below my remaining comments.

- s3: since the results that you're showing are without the shown upgrades, add a sub-bullets with years when the iTPC and the forward detectors were installed

- s5: the second EPJC reference doesn't have authors. You can use E. Levin et al. for both of them.

- s6: why the Upsilon(2S) and Upsilon(3S) ratios are shifted by +/-1 Nch ? 

On the x-axis it should be "TofMult", and it would be good to explain in a legend what the lines are, e..g as you have on the previous plot "linear function"

- s12: remove "[V. Verkest, DNP 2022]"

- s14, 16: Aguilar, Change, ... -> Aguilar et al.

Cheers,

Barbara

On Sun, Nov 19, 2023 at 7:12 PM Leszek Kosarzewski <leszek.kosarzewski AT gmail.com> wrote:

Hi Barbara and All

My talk is tomorrow at 1540h UK time, so please let me know if you have any additional comments.

Best regards, Leszek

sob., 18 lis 2023, 03:44 użytkownik Leszek Kosarzewski <leszek.kosarzewski AT gmail.com> napisał:

Hi Barbara

I made a lot of improvements after the rehearsal today. In general we improved the flow and message of the presentation. Please have a look:

https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/system/files/MPI_LK_2023_11_20_v4.pdf

Best regards, Leszek

czw., 16 lis 2023 o 12:05 Leszek Kosarzewski <leszek.kosarzewski AT gmail.com> napisał(a):

Hi Barbara

Thanks again. Here's the updated version:

https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/system/files/MPI_LK_2023_11_20_v3.pdf

We also plan to have a rehearsal tomorrow.

Best regards, Leszek

czw., 16 lis 2023 o 09:20 Barbara Trzeciak <barbara.trzeciak AT gmail.com> napisał(a):

Hi Leszek,

please find below a few additional comments.

- s6: change ref. to Phys. Lett. B (to be consistent with other places) and add "STAR"

”‘event activity”’ - there seem to be too many quotation marks 

- s2: since you don't have specific sub-bullets for most of the points, I suggest to remove them ("J/psi ... Upsilon...") from bullet 2

-s10: add experiments names before the references

- s12: add "STAR" before the reference

- s13: 

   - define UE-  charged particles within 1 < |ϕlead − ϕUE | < π − 1

   - remove [V. Verkest ...]

- s14: 

   - Second bullet: Relative area: area of away-site peak of the correlation function with respect to p+p

   - Last bullet: Clear A-dependent suppression of back-to-back yields in p+A compared to p+p  for small-x (and Q^2) pairs with low pT -> Indication of ...

- s15: remove [L. Kosarzewski ....]

- s16:  the star note reference in the text obscures the reading, please move it e.g. lower as a footer

- s17, 19: add names to the reference 

- s21: low pT -> Low pT

Cheers,

Barbara 

On Thu, Nov 16, 2023 at 7:02 AM Leszek Kosarzewski <leszek.kosarzewski AT gmail.com> wrote:

Hi Barbara

I made the corrections here. Please have look:

https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/system/files/MPI_LK_2023_11_20_v2.pdf

Best regards, Leszek

śr., 15 lis 2023 o 17:33 Leszek Kosarzewski <leszek.kosarzewski AT gmail.com> napisał(a):

Hi Barbara

Yes, that's clear. I noticed, I didn't include Hard Probes at first, so I correct that now.

Best regards, Leszek

śr., 15 lis 2023 o 10:41 Barbara Trzeciak <barbara.trzeciak AT gmail.com> napisał(a):

Hi Leszek,

remove conference references to STAR Preliminary results, not labels. We don't cite where preliminary results were shown.

Cheers,

Barbara

On Wed, Nov 15, 2023 at 4:39 PM Leszek Kosarzewski <leszek.kosarzewski AT gmail.com> wrote:

Hi Barbara

Thank you for the comments. I will respond to that, but wanted to share it with the Hard Probes group now.

https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/65988

What do you mean remove "Preliminary" labels? That's how we show preliminary results, don't we?

Best regards, Leszek

śr., 15 lis 2023 o 09:12 Barbara Trzeciak via Star-talks-l <star-talks-l AT lists.bnl.gov> napisał(a):

Hi Leszek,

nice slides. Please find below my comments.

And since you're showing results on hard probes, it would be good to pass the presentation via the HP PWG. 

- title slide: add "for the STAR Collaboration", STAR and the DOE logos

- General: your slide titles look squeezed, I suggest enlarging the title part of the slides. Be consistent with using (or not) dots at the end of your bullet point sentences

- s2: Here the first bullet looks a bit weird. It should be I guess "STAR experiment" and then "Quarkonia results" as the next bullet point

- s3: it’s -> its

- s6: 

   - move "vs. √ s = 500 GeV" to the tile, and add "production vs. event activity"

   - I would add as a first bullet conclusions on what trend is observed in data

   - Plots don't have STAR Preliminary labels

   - Add reference to 200 GeV results

   - Remove the [L. Kosarzewski ... ] reference, we don't cite STAR Preliminary results in STAR talks - same on further slides

- s9:

  - for the title I would suggest instead of "data" "J/psi vs Upsilon" 

   - when you cite STAR results, add "STAR" before the reference and use only the final publication, and we don't cite Preliminary 

- s10: I would suggest moving this slide after s8

- s11: 

   - increases with leading jet pT -> increases with leading jet pT  in the toward and away directions

   - Small contributions -> Hint of small contributions

   - add reference to the results

   - the picture is for Upsilon from CMS, I would suggest replacing it with something more adequate for jets from a STAR presentation on this topic

- what about adding the preliminary jet measurement vs event activity and UE correlation in p+Au collisions ?  They should fit here nicely

https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/blog/djs232/Paper-EA-and-UE-Corrs-High-Q2-Events-pAu-sNN200-GeV-Collisions-STAR

- s12:

    - would be good to explain what is "Relative area" 

    - use journal not arXiv reference, add "STAR"

- s14: 

   - improved momentum -> improved coverage and momentum

   - add that forwards detectors were also already installed and running

- s15: add reference to the PYTHIA8 Detroit tune paper

- s20: "20x more data after 2024" I would remove this as we don't know how much we will get in 2024. And "10x" more includes only 2017 but not 2022. Maybe make this statements less quantitative 

Cheers,

Barbara

On Tue, Nov 14, 2023 at 3:50 PM webmaster--- via Star-talks-l <star-talks-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:

Dear star-talks-l AT lists.bnl.gov members,

Leszek Kosarzewski (leszek.kosarzewski AT gmail.com) has submitted a material 
for a review, please have a look:
https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/65988

Deadline: 2023-11-20
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