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  • From: Sevil Salur <sevil.salur AT gmail.com>
  • To: "Mooney, Isaac" <isaac.mooney AT yale.edu>, STAR HardProbes PWG <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov>, Nihar Ranjan Sahoo <sahoo.niharr AT gmail.com>
  • Subject: Re: [Star-hp-l] 1st draft of WWND talk - Salur
  • Date: Thu, 8 Feb 2024 19:45:06 -0500

Dear Isaac and Nihar
I just uploaded another version to drupal. https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/system/files/wwnd24_salur_1.pdf
I tried to implement almost all your suggestions. Thank you for the careful reading. Please ignore the fact that it is starting from slide number 6 since I plan to talk about something else before the STAR talk. I will definitely make sure that when giving the talk, the transition will be smooth from slide 15 to 16. I also included 2 more slides for jet shapes & event plane so that we can advertise that the event plane dependent correlations paper is just accepted. 
Let me know if you have any further suggestions. 
Best wishes
Sevil  

On Feb 7, 2024, at 4:50 PM, Mooney, Isaac <isaac.mooney AT yale.edu> wrote:

Hi Sevil,

Sorry for my delay! The slides look very nice. I have some minor comments below.

Thanks,
Isaac

Some slides have slide numbers missing (or it's in white so not visible on a white background). Similar for your name.
It would be good to have the STAR logo somewhere on each slide.

12. "many jet shape observables" -> "many jet substructure observables", right? I don't think of fragmentation functions and LeSub for example as jet shape observables because there isn't an explicit spatial dependence. But this is just a semantic point.

13.
To me it seems that there should be more lead-in to the event plane dependence. The previous slide was about the many jet substructure observables, and I understand then picking one and discussing it more, but I think the discussion of event plane dependence is given short shrift this way. It would be great to have even a whole slide on what the event plane is; what the motivation is for looking at event plane dependence / explaining path length dependence of energy loss; how we measure EP; etc. I understand that this isn't the main thrust of the talk which mostly focuses on the D0jet and MultiFold AA substructure, but I think it would really help to have a bit more explanation if it is shown, even if just a couple more bullets on the same slide.
The legend for the pTs is missing. If you don't have space for it, you could color code the text of "low-pT" and "Above 2 GeV/c" with yellow and blue respectively, although the yellow might not show up on a projector very well.
Could you add a citation for the LHC energies results?

14. 
Maybe it's clear when you give the talk verbally, but it's not really denoted on the slide that you're switching gears and talking about another measurement here, and there isn't really a transition between the two measurements.
Extra ) after "GeV"

17. Would this be a good point to mention that these are conservative systematic uncertainties (e.g. "consistent within conservative systematic uncertainties")? Or if you want to save it until s. 27 that is also okay.

21. It's possible that I'm missing something, but I don't see why the left panel and the corresponding comment is necessary to this slide. I guess you do show 60+ GeV jets on the next slide, but the STAR measurement is at low pT, and the rest of the slide -- title, conclusion, etc. -- is about properly selecting b-jets, which is a different point.

27. Since these are ongoing measurements, I think it would be nice to have a quick future work bullet for each -- e.g. for Multifold AA substructure trying to reduce systematic uncertainties, and for D0-jet adjusting the D0 pT range.

On Feb 2, 2024, at 1:53 PM, Sevil Salur via Star-hp-l <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:

Dear All
Please find the 1st draft of my WWND talk in: https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/system/files/wwnd24_salur.pdf
Let me know if you have any comments or suggestions,
Best
Sevil 
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