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["Hughes, Charles [PHYSA]" <chughes2 AT IASTATE.EDU>]

Hey Ross,

Thanks for responding. Draft 2 is attached to this email with all your suggested changes taken into account.

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From: Ross Corliss <rcorliss AT mit.edu>
Sent: Wednesday, April 19, 2023 9:30 PM
To: Hughes, Charles [PHYSA] <chughes2 AT IASTATE.EDU>
Cc: sphenix-calibration-l AT lists.bnl.gov <sphenix-calibration-l AT lists.bnl.gov>
Subject: Re: [Sphenix-calibration-l] Quark Matter 2023 Poster Abstract: Static Distortions with Line Laser

 

Dear Charles,

Thank you for sending this around.  It is thorough and reads well.  I have three-ish minor suggestions:

1) I believe 'ultraviolet' can be one word, and doesn't need to be capitalized.  Alternatively, "UV", "266nm", or "ionizing" -- which gets more to the point.

2) my own use of lists notwithstanding, consider removing the numbering in your list:

static distortions from E and B fields, average distortion from space charge, and event by event distortions from fluctuations in space charge. This poster focuses on a novel technique to measure [the static distortions] using a system of steerable, ionizing lasers.

3) I fear readers might interpret 'line laser' as, eg https://www.redbacklasers.com.au/2020/02/04/what-is-a-cross-line-laser-and-what-are-these-type-of-lasers-used-for/ .  "These line lasers provide straight tracks..." could be reduced to simply "These provide straight tracks..."

-Ross

On Apr 19, 2023, at 3:50 PM, Hughes, Charles [PHYSA] via sPHENIX-calibration-l <sphenix-calibration-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:

Hello everyone,

Attached is my draft for the abstract of my proposed poster:

"Characterization of Static Distortions in the sPHENIX TPC with a Steerable Laser System."

Please let me know if anyone has any questions/comments/concerns/suggestions.

Thanks

<Charles_Hughes_QM23_Abstract_Draft1.pdf>_______________________________________________
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