sPHENIX is a new detector at RHIC.

[David Morrison <morrison AT bnl.gov>]

Dear collaborators,

Let me also encourage anyone and everyone to read the draft and comment
on it.  It's printed with line numbers in the margins – thanks! - which
makes typing up comments pretty straightforward.

To get the ball rolling, below are my comments on Sections I-III.

Cheers,
Dave

abstract: s/preformance/performance

11: |eta| < 1 or 1.1 (you say 1.1 on line 90)

15: "... which sit inside the solenoid, and ..." (we have a specific magnet)

26: s/principle/principal/

40: s/from a typical/from an/ (you use typical again later in the sentence)

43: s/be no greater/be no worse/ (always confusing with resolution –
greater can mean larger or it can mean better – choose "better" or "worse")

45: s/and another/and the other/ (otherwise sounds like there are lots
of radial segments to choose from)

52: "... sqrt(E)$, which corresponds to an energy resolution for single
hadrons in the full calorimeter system of ..." (was an awful lot of
"requiring" before)

63: s/3/three/ (small counting numbers should be spelled out)

64-66: awkward - how about, "... to provide as many interaction lengths
of material as a particle would encounter traversing the sPHENIX solenoid."

70: s/basic// (not needed)

71: s/is/consists of/

75-75: shouldn't the references be consolidated? I.e., "[7-11]".

90: cf line 11

99: "... were produced at two sites, ..."

101: s/Chaimpaign/Champaign/

104-106: how about, "The screens are then separated longitudinally,
placed in the mold, and tilted to form the taper in one dimension."

107: relocate the "then": "Tungsten powder is poured uniformly into the
mold and then epoxy is poured into the tungsten-fiber matrix."

107: s/In order to/To/

111-113: how about, "We trim the blocks first with carbide tipped
cutters and then with diamond tipped ones."

Table I is too wide.

124: s/Silicones/Silicone/

126-127: how about, "... coupled to a PMT with a 2in window."

139: s/map out/map/

141: s/readout/read out/ also s/the array/an array/

147-151: how about, "A ~30% relative variation in light collection is
observed across the light guide, leading to a ~20% ..."

149: btw, what does "indenting position dependent" mean? Is that a typo?

154: s/finally// (yes, it seemed like a long time, but don't write it
that way)

156: s/8/eight/

160: Why "(PCB)" as an initialism for pre-amplifier board?  Yes, they
are printed circuit boards, but I'd leave that off.  I.e., "The
pre-amplifier board, which carried four ..."

163: s/PCB/board/

168: s/amplifyer/amplifier/

Fig. 6 caption: s/4/four/

192: s/prevent excess/limit/

201: weird spacing between the "x" and the second "3".

204: how about, "The air gap between the fiber ends and the face of the
SiPM allows the emitted light to spread over the face of the SiPM,
reducing the probability of optical ..." and then "A gap of 0.75mm
balances the requirements that there be no more than a 5% variation ..."

216cf: how about, "A dry mix ... is melted and extruded, producing a
continuous band of scintillating plastic 25cm wide."

224: s/a mix of//

227: s/removes/also removes/

251: "During the FNAL test beam, ..."

253: s/4/four/

257, 258: s/10/ten/ (this could go either way, I admit)

262, 263: no period after "nm"

275: s/5/five/

281: s/5/five/

287: s/then/than/

Table III is too wide.

309: s/4/four/

324: s/board/boards/ (singular/plural agreement)

330: pick one: "comprises" or "consists of", but not "comprised of"

333: s/4/four/


On 1/18/17 12:38 PM, Ron Belmont wrote:
> Dear All,
> 
> We'd like to remind you that the first comment period will close one
> week from today.
> 
> With best regards,
> 
> Abhisek, Jin, Megan, Vera, and Ron
> 
> 
> 
> 
> On Wed, Jan 11, 2017 at 12:05 PM, Ron Belmont <ron.belmont AT colorado.edu
> <mailto:ron.belmont AT colorado.edu>> wrote:
> 
>     Dear sPHENIX collaborators,
> 
>     We are pleased to release to the collaboration the first draft of
>     the T-1044 2016 calorimeter beam test paper, which you can find
>     here: 
> https://wiki.bnl.gov/sPHENIX/images/7/75/Beam-test-results_first-collab-release.pdf
>     
> <https://wiki.bnl.gov/sPHENIX/images/7/75/Beam-test-results_first-collab-release.pdf>
>  . 
>     We greatly look forward to and appreciate your comments within two
>     week's time, by the end of the day on Wednesday, January 25.  For
>     those who have made comments on the previous version released to the
>     calorimeter lists, you can find responses
>     here: https://wiki.bnl.gov/sPHENIX/index.php/T-1044_publication_comments
>     <https://wiki.bnl.gov/sPHENIX/index.php/T-1044_publication_comments>
>     The author list and acknowledgements are not yet finalized.  If you
>     think you should be an author, please fill out the poll sent out by
>     Dave and
>     Gunther: 
> https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdyrXUoNoiS65D6VqVPNPyGZJQYk_5IiIYqcUW9G4ak5c19gw/viewform?c=0&w=1
>     
> <https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdyrXUoNoiS65D6VqVPNPyGZJQYk_5IiIYqcUW9G4ak5c19gw/viewform?c=0&w=1>
>  . 
>     If you have any additional requests for the acknowledgements, please
>     email one of us privately.
> 
>     With best regards,
> 
>     The T-1044 paper committee
>     (Abhisek, Jin, Megan, Vera, and Ron)

-- 
David Morrison  Brookhaven National Laboratory  phone: 631-344-5840
                Physics Department, Bldg 510 C    fax: 631-344-3253
                          Upton, NY 11973-5000  email: dave AT bnl.gov