sPHENIX is a new detector at RHIC.

[Achim Franz <afranz AT bnl.gov>]

Hi, 

let me add to Dave’s list:

stick with mm or cm but not both, e.g. 82-84 and 119-120

9     do you need both “system”

39  is it clear what a 3x3 cluster is

122 do we need the 1x8 ? 

146 is it clear what a "asymmetric shift” is ? 

caption Fig. 5 four blocks or four modules ? 

180 ‘ganged” or better "summed"  

caption Fig 7 “scintillating” 

Fig 8 not sure those black numbers are going to be visible or informative

            and “scintillation tile” ? 

292 “scintillating"

more later ….

Achim

> On Jan 18, 2017, at 14:33 , David Morrison <morrison AT bnl.gov> wrote:
> 
> Dear collaborators,
> 
> Let me also encourage anyone and everyone to read the draft and comment
> on it.  It's printed with line numbers in the margins – thanks! - which
> makes typing up comments pretty straightforward.
> 
> To get the ball rolling, below are my comments on Sections I-III.
> 
> Cheers,
> Dave
> 
> abstract: s/preformance/performance
> 
> 11: |eta| < 1 or 1.1 (you say 1.1 on line 90)
> 
> 15: "... which sit inside the solenoid, and ..." (we have a specific magnet)
> 
> 26: s/principle/principal/
> 
> 40: s/from a typical/from an/ (you use typical again later in the sentence)
> 
> 43: s/be no greater/be no worse/ (always confusing with resolution –
> greater can mean larger or it can mean better – choose "better" or "worse")
> 
> 45: s/and another/and the other/ (otherwise sounds like there are lots
> of radial segments to choose from)
> 
> 52: "... sqrt(E)$, which corresponds to an energy resolution for single
> hadrons in the full calorimeter system of ..." (was an awful lot of
> "requiring" before)
> 
> 63: s/3/three/ (small counting numbers should be spelled out)
> 
> 64-66: awkward - how about, "... to provide as many interaction lengths
> of material as a particle would encounter traversing the sPHENIX solenoid."
> 
> 70: s/basic// (not needed)
> 
> 71: s/is/consists of/
> 
> 75-75: shouldn't the references be consolidated? I.e., "[7-11]".
> 
> 90: cf line 11
> 
> 99: "... were produced at two sites, ..."
> 
> 101: s/Chaimpaign/Champaign/
> 
> 104-106: how about, "The screens are then separated longitudinally,
> placed in the mold, and tilted to form the taper in one dimension."
> 
> 107: relocate the "then": "Tungsten powder is poured uniformly into the
> mold and then epoxy is poured into the tungsten-fiber matrix."
> 
> 107: s/In order to/To/
> 
> 111-113: how about, "We trim the blocks first with carbide tipped
> cutters and then with diamond tipped ones."
> 
> Table I is too wide.
> 
> 124: s/Silicones/Silicone/
> 
> 126-127: how about, "... coupled to a PMT with a 2in window."
> 
> 139: s/map out/map/
> 
> 141: s/readout/read out/ also s/the array/an array/
> 
> 147-151: how about, "A ~30% relative variation in light collection is
> observed across the light guide, leading to a ~20% ..."
> 
> 149: btw, what does "indenting position dependent" mean? Is that a typo?
> 
> 154: s/finally// (yes, it seemed like a long time, but don't write it
> that way)
> 
> 156: s/8/eight/
> 
> 160: Why "(PCB)" as an initialism for pre-amplifier board?  Yes, they
> are printed circuit boards, but I'd leave that off.  I.e., "The
> pre-amplifier board, which carried four ..."
> 
> 163: s/PCB/board/
> 
> 168: s/amplifyer/amplifier/
> 
> Fig. 6 caption: s/4/four/
> 
> 192: s/prevent excess/limit/
> 
> 201: weird spacing between the "x" and the second "3".
> 
> 204: how about, "The air gap between the fiber ends and the face of the
> SiPM allows the emitted light to spread over the face of the SiPM,
> reducing the probability of optical ..." and then "A gap of 0.75mm
> balances the requirements that there be no more than a 5% variation ..."
> 
> 216cf: how about, "A dry mix ... is melted and extruded, producing a
> continuous band of scintillating plastic 25cm wide."
> 
> 224: s/a mix of//
> 
> 227: s/removes/also removes/
> 
> 251: "During the FNAL test beam, ..."
> 
> 253: s/4/four/
> 
> 257, 258: s/10/ten/ (this could go either way, I admit)
> 
> 262, 263: no period after "nm"
> 
> 275: s/5/five/
> 
> 281: s/5/five/
> 
> 287: s/then/than/
> 
> Table III is too wide.
> 
> 309: s/4/four/
> 
> 324: s/board/boards/ (singular/plural agreement)
> 
> 330: pick one: "comprises" or "consists of", but not "comprised of"
> 
> 333: s/4/four/
> 
> 
> On 1/18/17 12:38 PM, Ron Belmont wrote:
>> Dear All,
>> 
>> We'd like to remind you that the first comment period will close one
>> week from today.
>> 
>> With best regards,
>> 
>> Abhisek, Jin, Megan, Vera, and Ron
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> On Wed, Jan 11, 2017 at 12:05 PM, Ron Belmont <ron.belmont AT colorado.edu
>> <mailto:ron.belmont AT colorado.edu>> wrote:
>> 
>>    Dear sPHENIX collaborators,
>> 
>>    We are pleased to release to the collaboration the first draft of
>>    the T-1044 2016 calorimeter beam test paper, which you can find
>>    here: 
>> https://wiki.bnl.gov/sPHENIX/images/7/75/Beam-test-results_first-collab-release.pdf
>>    
>> <https://wiki.bnl.gov/sPHENIX/images/7/75/Beam-test-results_first-collab-release.pdf>
>>  . 
>>    We greatly look forward to and appreciate your comments within two
>>    week's time, by the end of the day on Wednesday, January 25.  For
>>    those who have made comments on the previous version released to the
>>    calorimeter lists, you can find responses
>>    here: https://wiki.bnl.gov/sPHENIX/index.php/T-1044_publication_comments
>>    <https://wiki.bnl.gov/sPHENIX/index.php/T-1044_publication_comments>
>>    The author list and acknowledgements are not yet finalized.  If you
>>    think you should be an author, please fill out the poll sent out by
>>    Dave and
>>    Gunther: 
>> https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdyrXUoNoiS65D6VqVPNPyGZJQYk_5IiIYqcUW9G4ak5c19gw/viewform?c=0&w=1
>>    
>> <https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdyrXUoNoiS65D6VqVPNPyGZJQYk_5IiIYqcUW9G4ak5c19gw/viewform?c=0&w=1>
>>  . 
>>    If you have any additional requests for the acknowledgements, please
>>    email one of us privately.
>> 
>>    With best regards,
>> 
>>    The T-1044 paper committee
>>    (Abhisek, Jin, Megan, Vera, and Ron)
> 
> -- 
> David Morrison  Brookhaven National Laboratory  phone: 631-344-5840
>                Physics Department, Bldg 510 C    fax: 631-344-3253
>                          Upton, NY 11973-5000  email: dave AT bnl.gov
> 
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