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Re: [Sphenix-l] Second release of T-1044 2016 beam test paper
- From: "Aidala, Christine" <caidala AT bnl.gov>
- To: Ron Belmont <ron.belmont AT colorado.edu>, "sphenix-l AT lists.bnl.gov" <sphenix-l AT lists.bnl.gov>
- Subject: Re: [Sphenix-l] Second release of T-1044 2016 beam test paper
- Date: Mon, 13 Mar 2017 17:35:12 +0000
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Dear Ron, Abhisek, Jin, Megan, Virginia, and Vera,
Below please find my comments on this much-improved draft.
Best regards, Christine
--- Author list: Please add my middle initial: “C.A. Aidala” Also add Mike Skoby’s: “M.J. Skoby” (Vera and Ron may want their middle initials added as well.) Correct spelling of Rusty’s name: “Towell” Names in the acknowledgments, where institutional affiliations are given, should match.
Index terms: “Calorimetery” -> “Calorimetry” (twice)
L 34 – “is” -> “are”
L 40 – “Upsilon” -> “upsilon”
Fig. 1 – If numbers are kept, explain in caption. At least give units.
L 75 – “the design by the UCLA group” -> “a design by a group at the University of California Los Angeles”
L 79 - \approx -> \sim
L 87 – “lightguide” -> “light guide”
Fig. 2 caption – “lines” -> “line”
L 102 – “the brass mesh screens” -> “brass mesh screens”
L 104 – “center to center spacing” -> “center-to-center spacing:
L 125-6 – “coupled to photomultiplier tube (PMT) with a 2 inch window photomultiplier tube (PMT)” -> “coupled to a 2-inch-window photomultiplier tube (PMT)”
L 131 – “is optically” -> “is then optically”
L 135-7 – “insensitive to neither non-uniformities in the distribution of light from the block nor the collection or transmission of light” -> “insensitive to both non-uniformities in the distribution of light from the block and the collection and transmission of light”
L 146 – “due to that” -> “due to the fact that”
L 154 – “BNL” has not been introduced. Perhaps mention Brookhaven National Lab (BNL) in the opening paragraph of the paper, or else write it out here.
L 185 – “shows” -> “show”
L 187 – “single clad fiber” -> “single-clad fiber”
Table II caption – Add “and WLS fibers”
L 196 – “scintillating” -> “scintillation”
L 211 – “of” -> “by” (?)
L 244 – “principle” -> “principal”
L 261 – “with using” – “with” or “using”
L 263 – “overlayed” -> “overlaid”
L 341 – SiPM has already been introduced
L 360 – “solonoidal” -> “solenoidal”
Fig. 10 caption – “resulted” -> “results”
L 389 – “surface mount” -> “surface-mount”
L 418 - “difference” -> “differences”
Fig. 12 caption – “Communications is” -> “Communication is”
L 452 – “fron” -> “front”
L 462 – “data no” -> “data with no”
L 489 – “design” -> “designed”
L 496 – “This allows, for example, to start the DAQ” -> “This allows, for example, the DAQ to be started”
Fig. 14 caption – “polarity” -> “charge”
Fig. 14 caption – “2 particle events” -> “2-particle events”
L 554 – “of the” repeated
L 560 – “readout” -> “read out”
L 561 – “readout” -> “read out”
L 561 – “the HBD digitizers” – These haven’t been introduced.
L 575 – Replace comma by semicolon
L 588 – “EMCal and” -> “EMCal, and”
Fig. 17 caption – “before EMCal” -> “before the EMCal”
L 621 – “integers of ADC value” -> “integer ADC values”
L 626 – “process” -> “processes”
Fig. 18 caption – “of 32” -> “of a 32”
L 653 – “ADC” -> “ADC values”
L 654 – “in middle” -> “in the middle”
L 655 – “show” -> “shows”
L 656 – “with” -> “by”
Fig. 19 caption – “rows which is used to energy calibration” -> “rows, using for energy calibration”
L 663 – “120 GeV” -> “a 120 GeV”
L 665 – “traverses through” -> “traverses”
L 669 – “Figure.” -> “Figure”
L 669 – Check consistency of “fit” vs. “fitted” for past tense throughout paper.
L 671 – Use Roman text for “eff” subscript
Fig. 20 caption – “is” -> “are”
L 681 – Check consistency of GeV vs. GeV/c
L 686 – “passing” -> “passes”
Fig. 21 caption – “in EMCal” -> “in the EMCal”
“title and” -> “title, and”
“stems” -> “stemming”
“is excluded” -> “are excluded”
L 712 – “resolution Two” -> “resolution. Two”
Fig. 23 caption – “is at” -> “is”
L 741 – “cross” -> “cross section”
L 744 – “to the for SPCAL” -> “to the SPACAL”
Fig. 25 caption – “presents” -> “is present”
L 764 – “hadron” -> “hadrons”
L 764 – “value” -> “values”
L 779 – “using” -> “using the”
L 786 – “were” -> “was” (“A set” is the subject.)
L 800 – “are” -> “is”
L 802 – “top to down” -> “top to bottom”
L 806 - \approx -> \sim
L 823 – “are” repeated
L 850 – “muons events” -> “muon events”
L 850 – “that MIP” – “MIP” is not a verb! This is used many times in this part of the paper.
L 867 – “is same” -> “is the same”
L 876 and after – “Birk’s” -> “Birks’”
L 890 and following – The “hadron showers” are just hadrons until they start showering. Aside from “MIP” not being a verb, it doesn’t make sense to say what a “hadron shower” doesn’t in the EMCal before any shower is produced.
L 902 – Remove “either”
Fig. 26 caption – “Bottom towers energy” -> “Bottom towers’ energy” or “Bottom tower energy”
“spectrum” -> “spectra”
Fig. 27 caption – “were not” -> “which were not”
L 908 – “depending their” -> “depending on their”
L 909 – “similar way described” -> “similar way to that described”
L 912 – “corresponds” -> “correspond”
L 939 – “EMCal” -> “the EMCal”
References:
[1] – If NIM permits it, add the arXiv reference - arXiv:1501.06197
There are capitalization errors in Refs. 2, 3, 4, 5, 13, 17, 20, 27.
[7] “&”
[16] Can more information be added to this?
[17] “Universit” -> “University”
[18] “Hadr on” -> “Hadron”
[21] The ‘a’ with the umlaut didn’t come out.
From: sphenix-l-bounces AT lists.bnl.gov [mailto:sphenix-l-bounces AT lists.bnl.gov]
On Behalf Of Ron Belmont
Dear All,
We plan on a one week comment period for the second release. Please send us your comments by the end of the day on Wednesday, March 15.
Regards,
Ron
On Wed, Mar 8, 2017 at 9:09 AM, Ron Belmont <ron.belmont AT colorado.edu> wrote:
-- ----------------------------------------------------- |
-
[Sphenix-l] Second release of T-1044 2016 beam test paper,
Ron Belmont, 03/08/2017
-
Re: [Sphenix-l] Second release of T-1044 2016 beam test paper,
Ron Belmont, 03/08/2017
- Re: [Sphenix-l] Second release of T-1044 2016 beam test paper, Aidala, Christine, 03/13/2017
- Re: [Sphenix-l] Second release of T-1044 2016 beam test paper, Sickles, Anne M, 03/13/2017
-
Re: [Sphenix-l] Second release of T-1044 2016 beam test paper,
Ron Belmont, 03/08/2017
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