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star-hp-l - Re: [Star-hp-l] [Star-talks-l] STAR presentation by Leszek Kosarzewski for MPI@LHC 2023 submitted for review

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Subject: STAR HardProbes PWG

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  • From: Leszek Kosarzewski <leszek.kosarzewski AT gmail.com>
  • To: Barbara Trzeciak <barbara.trzeciak AT gmail.com>, STAR HardProbes PWG <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov>
  • Cc: star-talks-l AT lists.bnl.gov, webmaster AT star.bnl.gov
  • Subject: Re: [Star-hp-l] [Star-talks-l] STAR presentation by Leszek Kosarzewski for MPI@LHC 2023 submitted for review
  • Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2023 01:02:44 -0500

Hi Barbara

I made the corrections here. Please have look:

https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/system/files/MPI_LK_2023_11_20_v2.pdf

Best regards, Leszek

śr., 15 lis 2023 o 17:33 Leszek Kosarzewski <leszek.kosarzewski AT gmail.com> napisał(a):
Hi Barbara

Yes, that's clear. I noticed, I didn't include Hard Probes at first, so I correct that now.

Best regards, Leszek

śr., 15 lis 2023 o 10:41 Barbara Trzeciak <barbara.trzeciak AT gmail.com> napisał(a):
Hi Leszek,
remove conference references to STAR Preliminary results, not labels. We don't cite where preliminary results were shown.

Cheers,
Barbara

On Wed, Nov 15, 2023 at 4:39 PM Leszek Kosarzewski <leszek.kosarzewski AT gmail.com> wrote:
Hi Barbara

Thank you for the comments. I will respond to that, but wanted to share it with the Hard Probes group now.


What do you mean remove "Preliminary" labels? That's how we show preliminary results, don't we?

Best regards, Leszek

śr., 15 lis 2023 o 09:12 Barbara Trzeciak via Star-talks-l <star-talks-l AT lists.bnl.gov> napisał(a):
Hi Leszek,

nice slides. Please find below my comments.
And since you're showing results on hard probes, it would be good to pass the presentation via the HP PWG. 

- title slide: add "for the STAR Collaboration", STAR and the DOE logos
- General: your slide titles look squeezed, I suggest enlarging the title part of the slides. Be consistent with using (or not) dots at the end of your bullet point sentences
- s2: Here the first bullet looks a bit weird. It should be I guess "STAR experiment" and then "Quarkonia results" as the next bullet point
- s3: it’s -> its
- s6: 
   - move "vs. √ s = 500 GeV" to the tile, and add "production vs. event activity"
   - I would add as a first bullet conclusions on what trend is observed in data
   - Plots don't have STAR Preliminary labels
   - Add reference to 200 GeV results
   - Remove the [L. Kosarzewski ... ] reference, we don't cite STAR Preliminary results in STAR talks - same on further slides
- s9:
  - for the title I would suggest instead of "data" "J/psi vs Upsilon" 
   - when you cite STAR results, add "STAR" before the reference and use only the final publication, and we don't cite Preliminary 
- s10: I would suggest moving this slide after s8
- s11: 
   - increases with leading jet pT -> increases with leading jet pT  in the toward and away directions
   - Small contributions -> Hint of small contributions
   - add reference to the results
   - the picture is for Upsilon from CMS, I would suggest replacing it with something more adequate for jets from a STAR presentation on this topic
- what about adding the preliminary jet measurement vs event activity and UE correlation in p+Au collisions ?  They should fit here nicely
- s12:
    - would be good to explain what is "Relative area" 
    - use journal not arXiv reference, add "STAR"
- s14: 
   - improved momentum -> improved coverage and momentum
   - add that forwards detectors were also already installed and running
- s15: add reference to the PYTHIA8 Detroit tune paper
- s20: "20x more data after 2024" I would remove this as we don't know how much we will get in 2024. And "10x" more includes only 2017 but not 2022. Maybe make this statements less quantitative 

Cheers,
Barbara

On Tue, Nov 14, 2023 at 3:50 PM webmaster--- via Star-talks-l <star-talks-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:
Dear star-talks-l AT lists.bnl.gov members,

Leszek Kosarzewski (leszek.kosarzewski AT gmail.com) has submitted a material 
for a review, please have a look:
https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/65988

Deadline: 2023-11-20
---
If you have any problems with the review process, please contact 
webmaster AT www.star.bnl.gov
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