STAR HardProbes PWG

[Barbara Trzeciak <barbara.trzeciak AT gmail.com>]

Hi Tong,

Nice proceedings.

Please see my minor comments for your consideration below.

Cheers,

Barbara

L29: "from different systems" -  it sounds redundant here

L31: evolves -> evolve

L33-34: hadron spectrum at 200 GeV -> hadron spectra at sqrt{s_NN} = 200 GeV

L48: above 5.1 GeV -> above 5.1 GeV/c

L49: 5% centrality bins -> 5%-wide centrality bins

L55: of collision system -> of the collision system

L57-58: "note that the Zr+Zr RAA is systematically slightly higher due to smaller Npart" - this is not very clear, do you mean that the average Npart in a given centrality bin is smaller for Zr+Zr compare to Ru+Ru ?

L61: effects becomes -> effects become

L65: up to 80% -> from 60% up to 80% peripheral events

L65:  and deviates ->  and deviate

L66: deviation at - deviation in

L67: HG-PYTHIA method -> HG-PYTHIA toy model

L75: >5 GeV charged particles -> charged particles with pT > 5 GeV/c

FIg. 1 caption: above 5.1 GeV -> above pT of 5.1 GeV/c

Fig. 1 caption: HG-PYTHIA simulation modified from [6], see text for detail ->HG-PYTHIA simulations modified from [6] are presented as shaded bands, see text for detail.

L82:  of medium production ->  of the produced medium (?)

L85: the raw ratio -> the ratio of raw yields

L86: reveal quite some physics -> provide physics information

Fig 2 caption: collisions, binned in centrality -> collisions as a function of pT, in different centrality classes

L88: PID -> particle identification

L92:  a larger Npart and Ncoll ratio ->  larger Npart and Ncoll ratios

L93: in more peripheral collisions -> with increasing centrality

L96: are higher than that -> is higher than that

L97: across centrality -> across centralities

L103: medium production depends -> medium properties depend (? not fully sure what you wanted to say here)

L106: wouldn’t -> would not

L108:  54 GeV -> \sqrt{s_NN} =  54 GeV

L131: η coverage -> the η coverage

L133: studies to understand -> studies that help to understand

L135: rely on -> depend on

L137: initial geometry -> the initial geometry

L138: a “suppression” -> maybe: R_AA < 1

L139-140: remove "comparisons of"

L140: particle yields -> particle yield ratios

L140: system -> systems

L141: a centrality-dependent ratio -> centrality dependence

L146: was found -> is found

On Sat, Jun 18, 2022 at 12:01 AM Tong Liu via Star-hp-l <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:

Hi Nihar,

Thanks to the comments, I have implemented them and posted them on drupal. The link is kinda funny probably because I created a duplicate entry, so please find the pdf here: https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/system/files/QM22_Proceeding_TongLiu%20%281%29_0.pdf

Please responses to some your comments below:

Line#25:  "dependencies" on what? like system size, Temperature, muB. Need to

mention what are those?

The dependencies I’m mentioning are system size and collision energies, which I talk about in the next sentence. I also rephrased the next sentence a bit to make it more coherent.


Line#63 ":..note that the Zr+Zr RAA is

systematically slightly larger due to smaller Npart,"-> I can see both

Ru and Zr RAA are consistent within uncertainty. Hence this statement is

not correct. Please remove this.

I see what you’re trying to say, but the uncertainty you see here is mostly systematic, hence common across isobar species, and should be canceled when comparing Ru against Zr, as is done in section 3. Therefore one should only focus on the central value here.

Line#150: "…found, photonuclear processes with high multiplicity .." ->

"found in the photonuclear processes with high multiplicity …"

The latter part of the sentence is talking about future measurements. That being said, since you removed the “high multiplicity” part in Sec. 4, I removed the corresponding statement here as well– though we need to confirm with Prithwish and Nicole.

Line#151: "…help us understand …" -> "…help us to understand…" 

I believe the “to” is optional here, and since we are short on space anyway I suggest we leave it as is.

Tong Liu

Ph.D. Student '2023 

Physics Dept., Yale University

Tel: 203-435-2130

On Sun, Jun 5, 2022 at 11:05 AM Nihar Sahoo via Star-hp-l <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:

Hello Tong,

Please find below my 1st round of comments on your nice proceedings.


Line#8: To address these open questions we -> "To address these open
questions, we…"
Line#12-16: Can you combine these three sentences into one and avoid
repeating "we"?
Line#19-23: "Lastly, we present…at RHIC" -> "In addition, we present the
measurement of particle production and long-range di-hadron correlations
in photonuclear processes in gamma+Au events using ultra-peripheral
Au+Au collisions at RHIC." Something like this. To make it concise in
the abstract.

Line#25: "Since the discovery of the quark-gluon plasma(QGP)"  Give a
reference here.
  "dependencies" on what? like system size, Temperature, muB. Need to
mention what are those?
Line#29: "RHIC doesn’t only provide us with a large and flexible range
of energies.."-> "RHIC provides a wide range of collision energies and
variety of system size covering…"

Line#31: "Further, ensembles with…" -> "Furthermore, the collision
system with …" end with a period.
Line#34: "jet quenching and flow " are not medium properties.  Like 
"flow" and "collectivity" are the same properties of QGP.
   Please rephrase this sentence,
LIne#37:-38 "For the first two sections, we focus on …spectrum" Not
needed and you can drop it. As you going through Section-2 and -3
individually in next sentences.
Line#38: "...the high-pT spectrum and show the nuclear modification
(RAA)… hard partons in the medium. " ->"… the high-pT charged hadrons
spectra and compare their nuclear modification factor (RAA) in different
collision systems".
LIne#40: "Then in section 3…" -> "In Section 3,…"
Line#42: "Finally in
section 4,…" ->" Finally, in section-4,.."

Section-2 title:
I would not say " hard partons" because we probe hard partons using jet
measurement, here we measure "inclusive charged hadrons".
Line#47: "…event and …" -> "…event, and …" Line#51: "…high-pT partons
…" -> "…high-pT charged hadrons …" (for reason see above)
Line#54: "…we
are able to perform…" -> ", we perform…"
Line#55: "&" -> and
Line#63 ":..note that the Zr+Zr RAA is
systematically slightly larger due to smaller Npart,"-> I can see both
Ru and Zr RAA are consistent within uncertainty. Hence this statement is
not correct. Please remove this.
Line#69: "However, our data in peripheral collisions show that RAA
starts  to decrease again beyond 60%,
" -> However, the values of RAA in Isobar collisions with Npart< 20
starts to decrease up to 80%,…" LIne#71: "Currently our suspicion is
…event selection and geometry biases.." -> I would not mention as a
suspicion. How about. "The event selection and geometrical biases may
contribute to this deviation at peripheral events in Isobar collisions
like demonstrated by the HG-PYTHIA method in …"
Can you please inform
about this HG-PYTHIA?
LIne#85: …more direct properties …" Can you please mention what are
those "direct properties" of the medium? Line#94-96: This statement
needs a citation.
Line#101-102: "We hope to study the ratio…" -> "We plan to study the
ratio…"
"…extract more kinetic and thermal …" ->"…extract the kinetic and
thermal…"
Line#110: "…pushing our limits to the low end"  Not clear; what is that
low end ? You need to mention.
Comment: In this section-4, it would be
better if you could introduced what is gamma+A event is.
LIne#119: "For this we form pairs by selecting charged …" -> "For this,
we…'
In Eq.1, you need to mention what is "n"? Like different order of
harmonics   Line#130: "within the measurement uncertainties" -> "within
the uncertainties." ( all uncertainties in experiments are measured
uncertainties)
Line#131: "High activity events will be explored in future. " Not
required.
Line#133: "…    Run-25 data on √sNN = 200 GeV Au+Au collisions,"  ->
"…Run-25 data in Au+Au collisions at √sNN = 200 GeV,"
Line#137:"…       the
QGP in small and medium systems, " -> "…the QGP in different collision
systems,"
Line#138: "…    are shown " -> "are discussed."
Line#140: "…    driven by Npart,  regardless of initial geometry;…" ->
"…driven by Npart regardless of initial geometry." (Finish this sentence
here)
Line#140-142: "..although in peripheral …       .“suppression”  is observed ."
-> Start a new sentence here. "The observed suppression in peripheral
events in isobar collisions may be due to the event selection and
geometry bias in the measurement."
Line#150: "…found, photonuclear processes with high multiplicity .." ->
"found in the photonuclear processes with high multiplicity …"
Line#151: "…help us understand …" -> "…help us to understand…"


Regards,
Nihar




On 2022-06-01 00:07, webmaster--- via Star-hp-l wrote:
> Dear Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov members,
>
> Tong Liu (tong.liu AT yale.edu) has submitted a material for a review,
> please
> have a look:
> https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/59798
>
> ---
> If you have any problems with the review process, please contact
> webmaster AT www.star.bnl.gov
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