STAR HardProbes PWG

[Nihar Sahoo <nihar AT rcf.rhic.bnl.gov>]

Hello Barbara and Yi,

Thank you for your comments.
Although, I am not sure if the revised abstract (v2) is needed in this 
case as probably Rongrong has submitted the abstract already.

https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/presentations/2023/Measurement-Jet-substructure-pp-and-event-activity-pAu-collisions-sqrts200-GeV-ST

But I implemented your some of your comments and my reply can be found 
below.

On Barbara's comments:
> - L5-6: The vacuum parton shower converts into a collimated spray of 
> hadrons—known as a jet—in p+p collisions -> (this sentence doesn't read 
> well, maybe something like) Jets are collimated sprays of final-state 
> particles produced from initial hard scatterings of partons in p+p 
> collisions.

I still think that sentence is nice but I tried to modify a bit now.

> - L10: jet mass, jet charge -> jet mass or jet charge
 "or" is incorrect as we are showing both.
 "," is needed.

> - L12: Correlator -> Correlator (EEC)
Abbreviation is not needed because I am not going to use anywhere next 
in this abstract.

> - L19:  In this talk, we plan to present -> In this talk, we present. 
> And I would start a new paragraph here.
Done
> - L19: on these observables -> on ensemble level and jet-by-jet 
> correlations between substructure variables and fully corrected EEC
This sounds more complicated. I tried to rephrase that sentence.

> - L22: On the other hand, we also -> We also
Done
> - L20: √s=200 -> √s = 200 (missing spaces), also in L24 and 26
Done
> - L25: the nuclear -> the cold nuclear
Done

On Yi's comment:

> I have some minor comments for your consideration:
>   * I would add one sentence somewhere in the first paragraph stating
> that using p+p and p+Au can provide some information about the initial
> state (cold nuclear effect).
Done
>   - L5: -- known as a jet -- --> , known as a jet,
Done
>   - L19: In this talk... --> move to the next paragraph
DOne
>   - L19: "we plan to present" seems to be a bit odd, suggest to "we
> present"
Done

Thank you
Nihar


On 2023-03-13 08:04, Yi Yang via Star-hp-l wrote:
> Hi Nihar,
>
> Thanks a lot for preparing the nice abstract.
> I have some minor comments for your consideration:
>   * I would add one sentence somewhere in the first paragraph stating
> that using p+p and p+Au can provide some information about the initial
> state (cold nuclear effect).
>   - L5: -- known as a jet -- --> , known as a jet,
>   - L19: In this talk... --> move to the next paragraph
>   - L19: "we plan to present" seems to be a bit odd, suggest to "we
> present"
>
> Cheers,
> Yi
>
> On Sun, Mar 12, 2023 at 3:04 AM webmaster--- via Star-hp-l
> <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:
>
> > Dear Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov members,
> >
> > Nihar Sahoo (nihar AT rcf.rhic.bnl.gov) has submitted a material for a
> > review,
> > please have a look:
> > https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/62933
> >
> > Deadline: 2023-03-10
> > ---
> > If you have any problems with the review process, please contact
> > webmaster AT www.star.bnl.gov
> > _______________________________________________
> > Star-hp-l mailing list
> > Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov
> > https://lists.bnl.gov/mailman/listinfo/star-hp-l
> _______________________________________________
> Star-hp-l mailing list
> Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov
> https://lists.bnl.gov/mailman/listinfo/star-hp-l