STAR HardProbes PWG

[Yi Yang <yiyang0429 AT gmail.com>]

Hi Monika,

Thanks a lot for the well-written proceedings. 

I only have some very minor comments for your consideration: 

  - Eq.1: I understand that "beta" and "z_cut" are just free parameters, but I am wondering if you can elaborate a bit more on the meaning of this equation. The left part of the less-than symbol is the ratio of momentum and the right part of the less-than symbol is the ratio of jet resolution multiplied by a cut. 

  - L30: in [5] --> in. Ref. [5] 

  - L34: Add a reference for "Iterative Bayesian unfolding"?

  - L47: the same as in Sec. 2 --> the same as described in Sec. 2

  - L63: can observe --> observe

  - L74: Ref 4 looks a bit strange, why does it split into two lines? 

Cheers,

Yi 

On Mon, Nov 14, 2022 at 1:45 PM Nihar Sahoo via Star-hp-l <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:

Hello Monica,

Thank you for implementing my comments.
I sign off.


> Do you mean "soft wide-angle" which we used in previous slides or
> proceedings?

I am fine with this.


Cheers
Nihar

On 2022-11-11 17:47, Monika Robotková wrote:
> Hello Nihar,
>
> Thank you very much for your useful comments. I've implemented them
> and uploaded v2 on Drupal page.
>
> "soft wide"->"soft-wide" (and elsewhere)
>
> Do you mean "soft wide-angle" which we used in previous slides or
> proceedings?
>
> Best regards,
>
> Monika
> -------------------------
>
> Od: Star-hp-l <star-hp-l-bounces AT lists.bnl.gov> za uživatele Nihar
> Sahoo via Star-hp-l <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov>
> Odesláno: 11. listopadu 2022 7:14:22
> Komu: webmaster AT star.bnl.gov; STAR HardProbes PWG
> Předmět: Re: [Star-hp-l] STAR presentation by Monika Robotkova for
> ICHEP 2022 submitted for review
>
> Hello Monika,
>
> Please find my comments on your nice proceedings.
>
> ABstract line10: "      …can serve as an experimental…" -> "…
> serve as an
> experimental…"
> "enable exploration of " -> "enable the exploration of "
> "…between zg and Rg at …" -> "… between the zg and Rg at…"
> "…second and third splits…" -> "…second, and third splits…"
> "soft wide"->"soft-wide" (and elsewhere)
>
> L12: "…in the high enegy collisions …" -> "in high energy
> collisions" ;
> "showering " -> "parton showering"
> L13 " These collimated sprays …" -> Not clear "these". Rephrase this
> and
> previous sentence to make it smooth.
> L15: "Jet substructure describe …" -> "Jet substructure
> describes…"
> L15-18: "Jet substructure…SoftDotp[]" -> A long sentence. Can you
> slit
> this sentence?
> L22: "…called shared momentum …" -> "… called the shared
> momentum…"
> L24:"…the first split and evolution" ->"…the first split, and the
> evolution …"
> L25:" ..the first, second and third…" ->"… the first, second, and
> third
> …" (elsewhere)
>
> L26: "Correletion between observables at the first split" ->
> "Correlation between z_{g} and R_g"
> L30: "…correct data…" -> "…correct the data…" ; "…to obtain
> true…" ->
> "…to obtain the true.."
> L33: "using 2D Iterative Bayesian" -> "using the 2D Iterative
> Bayesian…
> L57: "…more harder and collinear…" -> "… more harder and
> collinear…"
> L60: "We presented first fully…" -> We presented the first fully
> (you
> may drop this word "first"; a cliché)
> L63-64: "We can disentangle …   (hadronization) QCD processes. " ->
> Drop
> this sentence, not needed. It just popes up in the conclusion section,
>
> no discussion found in the text before.
> L67: "We would like to also compare our data with Monte Carlo
>  simulations. " -> this is not needed here. You can drop it.
>
> Cheers
> Nihar
>
> On 2022-11-08 05:59, webmaster--- via Star-hp-l wrote:
>> Dear Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov members,
>>
>> Monika Robotkova (robotmon AT fjfi.cvut.cz) has submitted a material
> for a
>> review, please have a look:
>> https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/61588
>>
>> ---
>> If you have any problems with the review process, please contact
>> webmaster AT www.star.bnl.gov
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