STAR HardProbes PWG

[Monika Robotková <robotmon AT fjfi.cvut.cz>]

Hello Nihar,

Thank you very much for your useful comments. I've implemented them and uploaded v2 on Drupal page.

"soft wide"->"soft-wide" (and elsewhere)

Do you mean "soft wide-angle" which we used in previous slides or proceedings? 

Best regards,

Monika

---

Od: Star-hp-l <star-hp-l-bounces AT lists.bnl.gov> za uživatele Nihar Sahoo via Star-hp-l <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov>
Odesláno: 11. listopadu 2022 7:14:22
Komu: webmaster AT star.bnl.gov; STAR HardProbes PWG
Předmět: Re: [Star-hp-l] STAR presentation by Monika Robotkova for ICHEP 2022 submitted for review

 

Hello Monika,

Please find my comments on your nice proceedings.

ABstract line10: "      …can serve as an experimental…" -> "… serve as an
experimental…"
"enable exploration of " -> "enable the exploration of "
"…between zg and Rg at …" -> "… between the zg and Rg at…"
"…second and third splits…" -> "…second, and third splits…"
"soft wide"->"soft-wide" (and elsewhere)

L12: "…in the high enegy collisions …" -> "in high energy collisions" ;
"showering " -> "parton showering"
L13 " These collimated sprays …" -> Not clear "these". Rephrase this and
previous sentence to make it smooth.
L15: "Jet substructure describe …" -> "Jet substructure describes…"
L15-18: "Jet substructure…SoftDotp[]" -> A long sentence. Can you slit
this sentence?
L22: "…called shared momentum …" -> "… called the shared momentum…"
L24:"…the first split and evolution" ->"…the first split, and the
evolution …"
L25:" ..the first, second and third…" ->"… the first, second, and third
…" (elsewhere)

L26: "Correletion between observables at the first split" ->
"Correlation between z_{g} and R_g"
L30: "…correct data…" -> "…correct the data…" ; "…to obtain true…" ->
"…to obtain the true.."
L33: "using 2D Iterative Bayesian" -> "using the 2D Iterative Bayesian…
L57: "…more harder and collinear…" -> "… more harder and collinear…"
L60: "We presented first fully…" -> We presented the first fully  (you
may drop this word "first"; a cliché)
L63-64: "We can disentangle …   (hadronization) QCD processes. " -> Drop
this sentence, not needed. It just popes up in the conclusion section,
no discussion found in the text before.
L67: "We would like to also compare our data with Monte Carlo
 simulations. " -> this is not needed here. You can drop it.

Cheers
Nihar


On 2022-11-08 05:59, webmaster--- via Star-hp-l wrote:
> Dear Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov members,
>
> Monika Robotkova (robotmon AT fjfi.cvut.cz) has submitted a material for a
> review, please have a look:
> https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/61588
>
> ---
> If you have any problems with the review process, please contact
> webmaster AT www.star.bnl.gov
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