STAR HardProbes PWG

[Nihar Sahoo <nihar AT rcf.rhic.bnl.gov>]

Hello Andrew,

Thank you for your nice proceedings.
Please find my comments below.

Firstly, I am not sure if we should call it "fully corrected 
measurement". Because L76-77 mentioned that we have not corrected "the 
ΔR and energy weight ".  What do you think?

Title: … 200GeV -> 200 GeV
L1:Andrew Tamis ->Andrew Tamis (for the STAR Collaboration)

Abstract:
The EEC can cleanly reveal… -> The EEC can reveal…
$ p_{T,jet}$ -> $p_{\rm T,jet}$ [all places like L49,53, in Eq1}

The EEC will be shown for several full… -> The EEC is shown for several 
full…
This work will be useful… -> This study is useful …
…in heavy-ion systems,… ->…, in heavy-ion collisions, …
L15: …perturbative effects -> … perturbative quantum chromodynamics 
(QCD) effects.
L16-17: "…where the partons begin to behave non-perturbatively …" -> Not 
sure where do you get this statement. Can you give some references? This 
transition from color to colorless object in QCD is completely unknown. 
It is probably incorrect to say "parton begins to behave 
non-perturbatively".  Please rephrase this.
L19 heavy ion -> heavy-ion [all places]
L24:	This will cleanly separate … -> This observable separates … [ Still 
ambiguity is there in separating these two regimes]
L27:     …quark/gluon shower … -> …parton shower
L31: $p_{T}$ -> $p_{\rm T}$
L33: using data -> using the data
L33: √s=200GeV -> √s = 200 GeV
L34: Experiment -> experiment
L35: Neutral energy deposits were determined -> Neutral energy deposits 
are determined [make tense consistent]
L37:    Jets in this dataset were found … ->         Jets are reconstructed…
L38: R = 0.4 and R = 0.6 -> R = 0.4 and 0.6
L43: in conjunction -> together ; deposits -> deposited ; were -> are
L46: in equation 1 -> in Eq. 1
L47:    between two particle pairs -> between the two particle pairs
L48:  …particle pairs, differential in their distance from each other ΔR 
-> 	…particle pairs and the differential in their angular distance.

L49: energy weight, (…) in … -> energy weight, (…), in...

Fig.1->  x-axis, y-axis title, labels are so small. Please increase the 
size.
Caption:  p_T^det -> $p_{\rm T}^{\rm det}$,  p_T^part -> $p_{\rm T}^{\rm 
part}$; correlations matched between the two simulation samples  -> 
correlations between the matched jets of these two simulation samples ; 
PYTHIA6 -> PYTHIA-6 or PYTHIA 6 (same for all other places)
_ No comment on  Fig.1 left plot. If Pythia6+geant reproduces the 
Pythia6 or not in the texts .

Fig.2: Use the same plots those were used in HP2023. For example, in 
your HP2023 presentation, there were texts like "Free hadron", 
"transition", "Quank/gluon" but these are not in proceedings

L54:	As this observable is expected to exhibit interesting behaviors due 
to  -> rephrase this sentence especially "interesting"

L57:	at particle(truth) level and at detector level. -> at the particle 
(truth) level and detector level.
L60 -> if they are within … -> if their jet axies are within their jet 
radius.
L88-> 		the jet cone the distribution -> 		the jet cone, the 
distribution
L92: Lambda_QCD -> $\Lambda_{\rm QCD}$
L95: Figure 2 -> Fig. 2 [similarly in L101 for Figure 3]
L96: R_turnover -> R_{\rm turn over} ; similarly jet-low -> _{\rm 
jet-low}
GeV/c [non-italic and use slash ]
L106:heavy-ion environments. -> heavy-ion collisions.
L108: Energy Correlator ->   EEC
L109: … in jets done at RHIC has been presented.  -> … in jets, at RHIC, 
are presented. ; remove "cleanly"
L111: perturbative fragmentation of quarks and gluons -> "perturbative 
fragmentation" has no meaning;


Cheers
Nihar

On 2023-07-05 18:52, Andrew Tamis wrote:
> Hello Nihar,
>
> Yes, I have updated with line numbers.
>
> best,
> Andrew
>
> On Wed, Jul 5, 2023 at 9:10 AM Nihar Sahoo via Star-hp-l
> <star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov> wrote:
>
> > Hello Andrew,
> >
> > Can you please put linenumber in your proceedings?
> > it will help us to comment on it.
> >
> > Thank you
> > Nihar
> >
> > On 2023-07-02 07:26, webmaster--- via Star-hp-l wrote:
> > > Dear Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov members,
> > >
> > > Andrew Tamis (andrew.tamis AT yale.edu) has submitted a material for
> > a
> > > review,
> > > please have a look:
> > > https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/64225
> > >
> > > ---
> > > If you have any problems with the review process, please contact
> > > webmaster AT www.star.bnl.gov
> > > _______________________________________________
> > > Star-hp-l mailing list
> > > Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov
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