STAR HardProbes PWG

[Nihar Sahoo <nihar AT rcf.rhic.bnl.gov>]

Hello Ziyang,

Please find my comments on your nice proceedings.

GeV/c -> GeV/$c$ (all places)
p+p -> $p+p$

Abstract Line 10: "In this contribution, we present recent …" -> "We 
present the recent…"
"...and its physical implications…" -> "... , and its implication is 
discussed."

L12: "…fields can be induced …" -> "  …fields are induced…"
L12: "In heavy-ion collisions, … the relativistic heavy ions " -> "In 
the relativistic heavy-ion collisions, … the heavy ions "
L13:"…		various interesting phenomena …" -> "…		various interesting 
phenomena, like " Mention what are those "interesting phenomena"?
L14: ", while there is a lack of clear experimental measurements of the 
strength and spatial of the EM fields." -> Not clear. Please rephrase it 
and make a separate sentence.
L15-16: "…, leading to photon-induced  interactions []" -> remove comma.
L17: "significant enhancements of…" -> "a significant enhancement of 
dilepton pairs and the J/shi…"
L23:"The measurements of very low 𝑝T vector meson and dilepton 
production in peripheral heavy-ion collisions …" -> "The measurements of 
the vector meson and dilepton production at very low pT in peripheral 
events…"
L24: "to study photoproduction in collisions" -> "to study the 
photoproduction in heavy-ion collisions"
L25: "		and smaller impact parameters " -> "…and relatively smaller 
impact parameters.."
"It also provide …" -> "It also provides information of the strength and 
the spatial distribution of the EM fields produced in these collisions."
L27: " In 2014, the STAR experiment recorded large samples of Au+Au 
collisions at √𝑠NN =200GeV. " -> "The STAR experiment recorded the large 
sample of datasets in Au+Au collisions at √𝑠NN =200GeV in 2014. " Please 
provide lumi. of your dataset to support your "large sample data"
L28: "In this contribution, we will present new measurements …" ->"In 
this proceeding, we present the new measurements of the dilepton and the 
J/shi production at very low pT in peripheral collisions…"
L30:"…𝑝T and 𝑝2T will be shown. " -> "                𝑝T, and 𝑝2T are shown."
L30-31:"	Physical  implications will also be discussed together with 
model comparisons. " -> "Different models are compared to the data and 
their implications are finally discussed."


L33: "This contribution…" -> what contribution? In the previous 
sentence, you have already discussed about dataset and 2014. Please 
rephrase this.
L35:"For J/𝜓, " -> "for the J/𝜓 measurement,…"
L37: "… (MTD)[9]. (2) For…" -> "… (MTD)[9], (2) for…."  (There should be 
"comma" after 1st bullet)
L38:"…     minimub-bias trigger events …" -> "        minimub-bias events "
L39:"Time of flight" -> "Time-of-Flight"
L40:"…candidates from the same event are paired …" ->"…candidates, from 
the same event, are paired …"
L41:"mass spectra, the combinatorial background is …" -> "…mass spectra. 
The combinatorial background is…"
L42 and 43: "mixed-events" -> "the mixed-events";  "from same-events" 
->"from the same-events"
L45: "obtained, while the J/shi…" -> "obtained. The J/shi…"
"the maximum likelihood method." ->Give reference

L49: "Data points are fitted by Tsallis function … -> "The data points 
are fitted by the Tsallis function …"
"… significant enhancement …" -> (Make another sentence) "Significant…."
L50-51: "To quantify the J/shi production modification in hadronic A+A…" 
-> "To quantify the relative suppression of J/shi production in Au+Au …"
L52: "… , Which is defined as …" -> (Make a new sentence) "It is defined 
as,"
Eq1: Define what are enumerator, denominator, N_coll?
L53-54: "A large enhancement of 𝑅𝐴𝐴 above unity …" -> "A large 
enhancement of the J/shi yield in peripheral collisions relative to the 
$p+p$ collisions is observed. It strongly suggests the excess J/shi 
yield is due to the photon-induced production in peripheral collisions."
L59: "…shows J/𝜓 yields …" -> "…shows the J/𝜓 yields …"
N_{part} -> $N_{\rm part}$

L70: "EPA-QED calculations …" -> "The EPA-QED calculations …"
L71: "….that 𝑝T …" -> "… that the pT…"
L72." …impact parameter dependence and should be considered. " -> 
"…	impact parameter dependence." (Rest not needed)

L75: "for comparison. EPA-QED…" -> "…for the comparison. The EPA-QED…"
L76: "STARlight …" ->"The STARlight…" ; "data" -> "the data"
L82:" In this contribution, measurements …" -> "The measurements …"
L85:"The results are compatible with the theoretical calculations with 
EPA, show the enhancements …" -> "The data are comparable with the EPA 
calculations indicating the enhancements … "


Cheers
Nihar

On 2022-10-23 20:46, webmaster--- via Star-hp-l wrote:
> Dear Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov members,
>
> Ziyang Li (lzy9404 AT mail.ustc.edu.cn) has submitted a material for a 
> review,
> please have a look:
> https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/61423
>
> ---
> If you have any problems with the review process, please contact
> webmaster AT www.star.bnl.gov
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