STAR HardProbes PWG

[Nihar Sahoo <nihar AT rcf.rhic.bnl.gov>]

Hi Yang,

Please find my comments on your nice proceedings.


L2:Title: …heavy-ion collisions at 200 GeV  -> …heavy-ion collisions at 
$\sqrt s_{\rm NN}$ = 200 GeV

In Abstract:
probe medium-induced jet -> probe the medium-induced jet
"…jet acoplanarity, as well as…" -> "…jet acoplanarity as well as…"
L10: A Jet can be defined as a collimated spray -> Jet is a collimated 
spray …
L12:"However, in heavy-ion collisions with … medium[1]" -> Rephrased 
this sentence. Syntax is not correct. Suggestion: First introduce QGP 
then mention what is jet quenching.
L14: "the radiation inside jet cone can lead to jet substructure 
modification, " -> this is not a correct statement.
L15: "while radiation outside jet cone can cause jet energy loss. " -> 
This is incorrect.
L16: "Moreover, …., referred to as acoplanarity.  -> Meaning is unclear. 
Mention what are the possible reason(s) for jet acoplanarity?
L17: In this study, we calculate… -> Break this sentence and rephrase 
it.
p_T -> $p_{\rm T}$ all places
L19-22: This sentence is not correct exactly. Correct and rephrase this.
Especially "…can be directly computed as the ratio of cross-sections in 
AA  and pp collisions [3]." What cross-section? This is not a 
cross-section measurement.
Eq-1: In this equation change the text, like "h", "X", "jet", "ch", "T, 
trig", as roman (Italic we use for that has a value).
Use this same for Eq.3
L25-26: Mention "as a function of p_{\rm T, jet}^{\rm ch}" in the text 
and also put this in the equ. 2
L29: "Direct photon(𝛾𝑑𝑖𝑟 ) triggers " -> what is direct photon trigger?
L37: "the spectrum shapes of 𝛾𝑑𝑖𝑟 +jet and 𝜋0+jet differ due to their 
respective production  channels. " -> This is not a correct statement.
L38: "𝛾𝑑𝑖𝑟 +jet spectrum …" -> what is "𝛾𝑑𝑖𝑟 +jet spectrum "?
L38-39: "Based on all …. Different" -> Not clear sentence. Rephrase 
this.
L40: "As previously mentioned, …" -> It is not mentioned previously. 
What is mentioned?
"		angular studies on recoil jet distributions. " -> what are angular 
studies? Not clear.
L41-42: This sentence is not correct. What is "various factors"?

Eq.3 is not correct. Write the correct equation what we measured and 
plotted along Y-axis.

L59: "trigger energies " -> Need to specify what is trigger energy? You 
have not discuss before.
L60: "... the Barrel Shower Max Detector (BSMD). " -> Barrel Shower 
Maximum Detector (BSMD)
L61:"Datasets analyzed here are p+p, Au+Au, Zr+Zr and Ru+Ru collisions 
at …" -> In these proceedings, the p+p, Au+Au, Zr+Zr and Ru+Ru 
collisions at sqrt(s_NN)= 200 GeV datasets, taken in 2009, 2014, and 
2018, respectively, are analyzed"

L63: "𝛾𝑑𝑖𝑟 and 𝜋0 triggers " -> discuss what is "𝛾𝑑𝑖𝑟 and 𝜋0 triggers "?
                using transverse energy -> with transverse energy
                < 0.9 as criteria. -> " … < 0.9. "

L65: "… Shower Profile (TSP) method with the BSMD." -> "…	Shower Profile 
(TSP) method as discussed in [5]."  [cite STAR PLB gamma+hadron paper]
L65-68: "Since ….and pi0" -> for these proceedings, this explanation is 
not required. The citation 6 is enough here. Drop these sentences.

L70-> Mixed-event -> mixed-event
L73: "             which all tracks are uncorrelated. " -> uncorrelated to 
what?

_ In Analysis section, you did not discuss about your own analysis on 
Isobar collisions.
Put a separate para, and discuss what cuts, high pT hadron range, and 
other information you have used for your isobar analysis. You should 
highlight your analysis too.
_ You do not discuss about jet R used for gamma, pi0, and your isobar 
hadron. Discuss it.

L78: "… corrected 𝛾𝑑𝑖𝑟 +jet and 𝜋0+jet spectra, " -> Not clear what is 
"gamma+jet and pi0+jet spectra"?
	their relative suppression to vacuum -> Not clear what suppression?  
And suppression in what relative to what? Rephrase this.

L80: "𝐸𝑇 bins for 𝜋0 " -> Need to produce trigger Et like $E_{\rmT}^{\rm 
trig}$.
L81: Dark band represent  -> Dark band represents
L82:    Light band indicate ->       Lighter band indicates

L82-83: 	tracking efficiency is also a part of Unfolding. So no need to 
mention it.
L83: 	𝐼𝐴𝐴 are consistent… -> 	𝐼𝐴𝐴 is consistent between gamma_dir+jet 
and pi0+jet, within uncertainty.

L84: "given the different shapes of their spectra," ->It is not clear 
what spectra?
L85: "…it implies that the energy loss for these two triggers is 
different." -> Due to different Q^2 it would be difficult to say this. 
So this statement is not correct.
in all energy bins, -> Not clear
for 𝑅 = 0.2 are  ->          for 𝑅 = 0.2 is ;
Most of its pT range -> mention pT range of what?
Better split the sentence L85-86

L87:            recovered at larger angle. ->  recovered within larger cone 
size.

Fig.1 Caption: collisions, with 𝑅 = 0.2 …-> collisions with 𝑅 = 0.2…

L89: "calculated by Pythia8 MONASH tune " -> from PYTHIA-8 Monash tune

L90:	which reflects energy profile within the jets.  -> what is "energy 
profile"? Rephrase it or just drop it.
L91: this ratio is additionally suppressed -> this ratio is less than 
that of pp [Note: this is not a "suppression" like IAA or RAA]

L93:The enhanced inter-jet broadening in medium -> what is "enhanced 
inter-jet broadening" ?
You did not define what "Delta phi" before. Define somewhere.
L94: Pythia ->PYTHIA
L97: significant enhancement in yield -> excess yield at \Delta\phi ~ 
pi/2

L102:in relative smaller ->  in relatively smaller
L103: jet quenching study in smaller and larger collision systems -> 
	jet quenching study between smaller and larger collision systems
shows raw spectra ->         shows the raw spectra

L105:background-dominated negative ->        background dominated negative


Fig.4: Why there is no "STAR Preliminary" label?

L111: For the jet energy loss study, we report -> We report…
L112:And we also calculate recoil jet yield ratio between 𝑅 = 0.2 and 
0.5 which demonstrate intra-jet broadening.  -> The ratio of recoil jet 
yield between R=0.2 and 0.5 shows the intra-jet broadening in heavy-ion 
relative to p+p collisions.



Cheers
Nihar













On 2023-07-06 15:26, yanghe wrote:
> Hello Nihar,
>
> I have uploaded the new one.
>
> Best,
> Yang
>
>
> 在 2023-07-05 21:17，Nihar Sahoo via Star-hp-l 写道：
> > Hello Yang,
> >
> > Can you please include line number in your proceedings? It will help
> > us to comment on it.
> >
> > On Fig.3, Please remove left figure for R=0.2.
> > I recently found the lower panel ratio plot is not correct in this 
> > figure.
> >
> > Cheers
> > Nihar
> >
> > On 2023-07-03 08:39, webmaster--- via Star-hp-l wrote:
> > > Dear Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov members,
> > >
> > > Yang He (yanghe AT rcf.rhic.bnl.gov) has submitted a material for a 
> > > review,
> > > please have a look:
> > > https://drupal.star.bnl.gov/STAR/node/64228
> > >
> > > ---
> > > If you have any problems with the review process, please contact
> > > webmaster AT www.star.bnl.gov
> > > _______________________________________________
> > > Star-hp-l mailing list
> > > Star-hp-l AT lists.bnl.gov
> > > https://lists.bnl.gov/mailman/listinfo/star-hp-l
> > _______________________________________________
> > Star-hp-l mailing list
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